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Array
(
[sid] => 61930
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => MONTIE'S NEW CAR
[time] => 2004-08-30 14:53:52
[hometext] => My heart wouldn't dare attack me! Fail? Well, maybe........
[bodytext] => 
"MONTIE'S NEW CAR!"
a car is, A Car, is A CAR?
Wrong!!!
Is a throng a sarong?
How 'bout a bird a ding dong?
All cars used to be about the same.....
'tis really a shame--whom do I blame?
He said,
"Hey Mom I'll leave instructions?"
I'm thinking,
"What's wrong with that kid?
I don't need any lessons!"
Do chickens need gizzards?
Famous last words.....
Oh Lordy Me, and God's Galore!
Are new cars like computers? I'm not sure???
Next morning there it was.....
"Montie's Instruction Guide"
The nerve of that kid....
Number one said, "No need to use the key
to open the door?
"Hacksaw? Jaws? Paws?'
I laughed so hard, I fell to the floor!
Number two: Just approach the automobile,
"Quietly? Carefully? Sneaky? Will it charge?
Does it squeal?"
Number three:
Press the top right button to unlock
the driver's door,
"Oh this is too easy.....!"
"If I do it right, what's my score?"
Number four:
Push it twice to unlock all the doors at once!
"I'm all alone, what a nuisance!'
Number five:
Once you put the car in gear,
All the doors lock automatically, even those in the rear!
"I'm not starting this new fangled computerized car!"
"I'll be locked-in, (inside) this fancy boxcar!!!"
Number six:
When you leave the car, push the lock button....
(top left) until the car beeps--That's It!"
"That's It?" You mean it talks?"
I'll be just fine, while psyching up my grit!"
My skin is crawling, perspiration drip--armpit!
Already a nervous wreck, haven't even
started it yet!
Number seven:
"Shucks, where's six....I forget?
Now, seven, you can use the blue button,
to open the "truck" ~ truck? what truck?
I have a horrible cramp in my colon!
Must be a mistake, must mean "trunk?"
I feel ill, sort of "punch drunk!"
"Have fun today Mom, and take your cell phone,
that's what it's for!"
"Cell Phone? Can't find the directions to it,
can't restore!
I'll just have to explore.......
"Hello, Mont, this is Mom, you didn't tell me
what I press for the gear stick?"
"I just called to say I won't be going today,
I'm feeling a bit sick!"
P.S. I got out all right, but I think I saw it smile,
so I gave the right front wheel a big kick!
It was the only thing I could see that didn't
have a some kind of a dial!!!
Then I mustered up my courage, clicked twice
and it went "Beep!
Loud enough to make an old lady weep!!!
Created by
Lovingcritters
ConSue
"No tyranny is so irksome as petty tyranny:
the officious demands of policemen, government clerks,
and electromechanical gadgets!"
~What do I press to
bring up his name?~
"Poor Montie, nothing worse than
having a Mother that writes funny poems!"
*Push button Smiles!*
Afterthought:
[comments] => 12
[counter] => 166
[topic] => 7
[informant] => lovingcritters
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 15
[ratings] => 3
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => HumorPoetry
)
MONTIE'S NEW CAR
Contributed by
lovingcritters
on
Monday, 30th August 2004 @ 02:53:52 PM in AEST
Topic:
HumorPoetry
|
"MONTIE'S NEW CAR!"
a car is, A Car, is A CAR?
Wrong!!!
Is a throng a sarong?
How 'bout a bird a ding dong?
All cars used to be about the same.....
'tis really a shame--whom do I blame?
He said,
"Hey Mom I'll leave instructions?"
I'm thinking,
"What's wrong with that kid?
I don't need any lessons!"
Do chickens need gizzards?
Famous last words.....
Oh Lordy Me, and God's Galore!
Are new cars like computers? I'm not sure???
Next morning there it was.....
"Montie's Instruction Guide"
The nerve of that kid....
Number one said, "No need to use the key
to open the door?
"Hacksaw? Jaws? Paws?'
I laughed so hard, I fell to the floor!
Number two: Just approach the automobile,
"Quietly? Carefully? Sneaky? Will it charge?
Does it squeal?"
Number three:
Press the top right button to unlock
the driver's door,
"Oh this is too easy.....!"
"If I do it right, what's my score?"
Number four:
Push it twice to unlock all the doors at once!
"I'm all alone, what a nuisance!'
Number five:
Once you put the car in gear,
All the doors lock automatically, even those in the rear!
"I'm not starting this new fangled computerized car!"
"I'll be locked-in, (inside) this fancy boxcar!!!"
Number six:
When you leave the car, push the lock button....
(top left) until the car beeps--That's It!"
"That's It?" You mean it talks?"
I'll be just fine, while psyching up my grit!"
My skin is crawling, perspiration drip--armpit!
Already a nervous wreck, haven't even
started it yet!
Number seven:
"Shucks, where's six....I forget?
Now, seven, you can use the blue button,
to open the "truck" ~ truck? what truck?
I have a horrible cramp in my colon!
Must be a mistake, must mean "trunk?"
I feel ill, sort of "punch drunk!"
"Have fun today Mom, and take your cell phone,
that's what it's for!"
"Cell Phone? Can't find the directions to it,
can't restore!
I'll just have to explore.......
"Hello, Mont, this is Mom, you didn't tell me
what I press for the gear stick?"
"I just called to say I won't be going today,
I'm feeling a bit sick!"
P.S. I got out all right, but I think I saw it smile,
so I gave the right front wheel a big kick!
It was the only thing I could see that didn't
have a some kind of a dial!!!
Then I mustered up my courage, clicked twice
and it went "Beep!
Loud enough to make an old lady weep!!!
Created by
Lovingcritters
ConSue
"No tyranny is so irksome as petty tyranny:
the officious demands of policemen, government clerks,
and electromechanical gadgets!"
~What do I press to
bring up his name?~
"Poor Montie, nothing worse than
having a Mother that writes funny poems!"
*Push button Smiles!*
Afterthought:
Copyright ©
lovingcritters
... [
2004-08-30 14:53:52]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: MONTIE'S NEW CAR
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Monday, 30th August 2004 @ 02:57:29 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
hey connie,
your write brought a smile to my face. whihc is something that right now i am in desperate need of *hugs you*
pixie xx |
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Re: MONTIE'S NEW CAR
(User Rating: 1 )
by katyqueen35 on
Monday, 30th August 2004 @ 02:58:41 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Lol lovingcritter
You write the most amazing stories.
Hey i want that car lol hehehehehe.
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Re: MONTIE'S NEW CAR
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 30th August 2004 @ 03:04:49 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I laughed till my stomach hurt. This is so hilarious. I would feel the same way. I hate the new computerizations on cars. I just hope the computer on it never crashes!!! lol
Rita |
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Re: MONTIE'S NEW CAR
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Monday, 30th August 2004 @ 03:06:24 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
adorable Conni
Michelle |
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Re: MONTIE'S NEW CAR
(User Rating: 1 )
by Nazmythian on
Monday, 30th August 2004 @ 03:07:36 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Once again Connie, I am in stitches. ( I know ... opened myself up there, huh? ) That is just too funny. Good thing it didn't have a remote start button too. Lovely write dear !!
Nazmythian ~ |
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Re: MONTIE'S NEW CAR
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ilhar on
Monday, 30th August 2004 @ 03:08:27 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
sounds like al's truck ...enjoyable
Shari |
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Re: MONTIE'S NEW CAR
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Monday, 30th August 2004 @ 07:17:35 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
wow Mom,
I'd be clastaphobic in there too.
Good work.
Tell Momtie congradualations and I hope it don't crash like our putors do. that would be a bummer to get stuck in there.
luv, huggs, smiles,
emy |
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Re: MONTIE'S NEW CAR
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Monday, 30th August 2004 @ 09:39:56 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
did he really get that car? its wild looking lol, this poems too cute, *is not showing her sons this cars pic* hugs n' love nessa
@->>->:- |
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Re: MONTIE'S NEW CAR
(User Rating: 1 )
by LOWMAN613 on
Monday, 30th August 2004 @ 10:27:15 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Dang I need to show the hubby this one whos a car buff!
He will flip! If he did get this he better have an angel on his shoulder,or mom in the back seat! LOL Cute loved this! Christina |
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Re: MONTIE'S NEW CAR
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Tuesday, 31st August 2004 @ 12:12:43 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Aawww...very cute poem.. venkat |
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Re: MONTIE'S NEW CAR
(User Rating: 1 )
by jaeann on
Thursday, 2nd September 2004 @ 09:06:38 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| you've left me rolling in laughter on the floor............. they put up with so much from us crazy mothers don' t they......as always.....a joy to read your work...... |
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Re: MONTIE'S NEW CAR
(User Rating: 1 )
by Aika on
Saturday, 4th September 2004 @ 08:27:44 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| woooow! what a wonderful poem!!! you made me smile!!! :-) You are great, indeed! with all my love, aika:-) |
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