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Array
(
[sid] => 61783
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Screaming Nightmares.
[time] => 2004-08-29 05:07:48
[hometext] => I’m really tired. I wouldn’t be surprised if I fainted soon. I did sleep last night, it’s just my head went another trip… it’s made me feel suicidal again and I’ve got no access to the multy-story car park any more. It’s making me really depressed!
[bodytext] => Distant shadows whispers words. Yet some thing tells me only I hear them heard. Since every one carries with their lives, Where as I fall back too low to try. I can’t cover my secrets when I blow. Because it all comes out in self-destruct mode. Yet some sick individuals have to stop me from suicide. Because they see i in their heads, they've got the right to decide! When they have no right to judge ‘coz they don’t even know my name. And maybe if they did I’d still be treated the same. But that’s not the point ‘coz it hasn’t risen from the future yet. … And I will some day take my life, and they’ll have to just except. Last night I went on a down fall again! And for hours, I just couldn’t escape my head. It began with the memory of some one that scares me real bad! And then it just went on and on, but when it went I wasn’t glad. ‘Coz then I had to face it after the shockwaves had left, I had to sit, suffer and hate it, burning from every last bit. Then in dreams it just got worse but I found I couldn’t wake up! Nothing compares to these trips and when they come you have to face up. Well, hopefully now that I’ve had it, it won’t be back for a few weeks. It’s not ideal I know, but if I talk then I know I’ll be called a freak… It’s crazy I’m so tired because I actually slept last night. But I sure don’t feel like it I feel faint, far from alright! I don’t remember much about my dreams, I just know they’re twisted with people that scream. I nod my head and pray it doesn’t come again, But I know that it will because I live inside my stain… [comments] => 2 [counter] => 159 [topic] => 36 [informant] => deathdrop [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Suicide )
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