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True Colors

Contributed by Essentially9 on Sunday, 8th August 2004 @ 11:54:12 PM in AEST
Topic: EmotionalPoetry



True Colors

You think revenge
Is the best thing
To get back at me
Your true colors
Shining through
Hatred consumes you

There's nothing left to say
Except hate's eating you away
Although not misplaced
Everything else in you fades

Forgive but never forget
It will only happen again
Tearing yourself apart
Doesn't make up for my part
You're losing to yourself
By losing to your need
To have revenge upon me
Hurting you more than you can see
Your true colors are killing you and not me




Copyright © Essentially9 ... [ 2004-08-08 23:54:12]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: True Colors (User Rating: 1 )
by Stoney1 on Monday, 9th August 2004 @ 08:12:15 AM AEST
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What you have here is the basis for a poem.

You have a thought, and you've blocked it out in
its roughest fashion.

Now you need to play with the lines, juggle the
words, cut, clip, paste, re-phrase, add to some
parts and delete others, until you've created a
poem.

As it stands now, it reminds me of "Richard the III"'s
description of himself, "...as if I were pushed out into
the world before my time scarce half made up, ...of
such ill features that dogs bark as I halt by..."
or some
such.

You've got a good idea for a poem, now all you have
to do is sit down and create it.

Stoney


Re: True Colors (User Rating: 1 )
by Jarmen_Kell on Wednesday, 25th August 2004 @ 10:40:48 PM AEST
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Hi, just to tell you you do have talent. It's a bit awkward, your construction, but just work on it a little longer and everything should fall into place!


Re: True Colors (User Rating: 1 )
by afterdark on Tuesday, 25th January 2005 @ 11:45:54 AM AEST
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Do you ever dream in technicolor? Because I cannot see how else someone as you would dream..Your writes old and new are things to me that words cannot express..This one is no diffrent at all..Except your talent is simple under rated here..


Re: True Colors (User Rating: 1 )
by ForeverAlone on Tuesday, 5th April 2005 @ 12:04:06 AM AEST
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The only colors I like are white, black, and grey...to hell with the rest...
Good post Jen

Clark




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