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True Colors
Contributed by
Essentially9
on
Sunday, 8th August 2004 @ 11:54:12 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
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True Colors
You think revenge
Is the best thing
To get back at me
Your true colors
Shining through
Hatred consumes you
There's nothing left to say
Except hate's eating you away
Although not misplaced
Everything else in you fades
Forgive but never forget
It will only happen again
Tearing yourself apart
Doesn't make up for my part
You're losing to yourself
By losing to your need
To have revenge upon me
Hurting you more than you can see
Your true colors are killing you and not me
Copyright ©
Essentially9
... [
2004-08-08 23:54:12] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: True Colors
(User Rating: 1 ) by Stoney1 on
Monday, 9th August 2004 @ 08:12:15 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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What you have here is the basis for a poem.
You have a thought, and you've blocked it out in its roughest fashion.
Now you need to play with the lines, juggle the words, cut, clip, paste, re-phrase, add to some parts and delete others, until you've created a poem.
As it stands now, it reminds me of "Richard the III"'s description of himself, "...as if I were pushed out into the world before my time scarce half made up, ...of such ill features that dogs bark as I halt by..." or some such.
You've got a good idea for a poem, now all you have to do is sit down and create it.
Stoney |
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Re: True Colors
(User Rating: 1 ) by Jarmen_Kell on
Wednesday, 25th August 2004 @ 10:40:48 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Hi, just to tell you you do have talent. It's a bit awkward, your construction, but just work on it a little longer and everything should fall into place! |
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Re: True Colors
(User Rating: 1 ) by afterdark on
Tuesday, 25th January 2005 @ 11:45:54 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Do you ever dream in technicolor? Because I cannot see how else someone as you would dream..Your writes old and new are things to me that words cannot express..This one is no diffrent at all..Except your talent is simple under rated here.. |
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Re: True Colors
(User Rating: 1 ) by ForeverAlone on
Tuesday, 5th April 2005 @ 12:04:06 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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The only colors I like are white, black, and grey...to hell with the rest...
Good post Jen
Clark |
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