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Array ( [sid] => 59032 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Vengeance [time] => 2004-08-05 15:13:37 [hometext] => [bodytext] => Next to the old mesquite they found
Your body, your head cut on the asphalt.
Tears singe my eyes as I walk up to you
With you favorite opal necklace around your
Neck I can identify your once flawless
Body, your beautiful face and shining smile
Clouds overhead threatening, at the bottom
Of a bottle my feelings are like ice, words
Skating over until one lacerates my thoughts
Murder.
Down by the creek Dad stands with the uniforms
This heinous crime I don’t understand Mom
But as you are an angel in heaven
Soon he will be in hell



The Raven
[comments] => 7 [counter] => 156 [topic] => 13 [informant] => TheRaven [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )
Vengeance

Contributed by TheRaven on Thursday, 5th August 2004 @ 03:13:37 PM in AEST
Topic: DarkPoetry



Next to the old mesquite they found
Your body, your head cut on the asphalt.
Tears singe my eyes as I walk up to you
With you favorite opal necklace around your
Neck I can identify your once flawless
Body, your beautiful face and shining smile
Clouds overhead threatening, at the bottom
Of a bottle my feelings are like ice, words
Skating over until one lacerates my thoughts
Murder.
Down by the creek Dad stands with the uniforms
This heinous crime I don’t understand Mom
But as you are an angel in heaven
Soon he will be in hell



The Raven




Copyright © TheRaven ... [ 2004-08-05 15:13:37]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Vengeance (User Rating: 1 )
by richcol7522 on Thursday, 5th August 2004 @ 03:16:41 PM AEST
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This is deep...You did a wonderful job with words that you choose. Good write


Re: Vengeance (User Rating: 1 )
by KiLin on Thursday, 5th August 2004 @ 04:06:16 PM AEST
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I like it. It's very descriptive. Good job!


Re: Vengeance (User Rating: 1 )
by PRECIOUSBECKY on Thursday, 5th August 2004 @ 04:16:08 PM AEST
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YOU DESCRIBED THE SCENE SO WELL I FELT AS IF I WERE IN THE BACKGROUND LOOKING ON- GREAT POEM - SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS.


Re: Vengeance (User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on Thursday, 5th August 2004 @ 05:42:19 PM AEST
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I don't know what to say about this.

It is so tragic and devastating.

Kie


Re: Vengeance (User Rating: 1 )
by WinterFawn on Thursday, 5th August 2004 @ 05:58:07 PM AEST
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Very chilling verse. Brilliantly composed.

WinterFawn


Re: Vengeance (User Rating: 1 )
by zenmind on Monday, 9th August 2004 @ 01:08:46 AM AEST
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I've started to read some of your posts on this site, and with every poem, I find that you are very descriptive, which expresses more clearly the feeling in all of your poems. In this poem I liked the flow of this line:

my feelings are like ice, words
Skating over until one lacerates my thoughts
Murder.

The word "murder" really comes through in that flow.

Be True,
zenmind


Re: Vengeance (User Rating: 1 )
by Silent_Storm on Monday, 15th November 2004 @ 04:58:39 PM AEST
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Great poem! I liked it a lot. the imager is excellent!




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