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Array
(
[sid] => 57848
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Better Off Dead...
[time] => 2004-07-28 02:56:23
[hometext] => I'm trying to be strong for him! It's hard. But I love him, so i'm really trying. He's promised to always be here for me. I hope he sticks around, i can't manage with him...
[bodytext] => I'm trying to stay together, Just for once. I'm trying to remember, Some happier months. Trying to fight my battles. Just for you! Trying to see the light. That you want me to. Nothing's left inside me anymore. Nothing's to surround me. I feel so sore. So unprotected, So fragile, So raw. I wake up, Everythings the same. Shaken-up. I find my my-self to blame. then every thing twists back, and i find myself again. trapped in a life, that's not OK! People laugh around me, and I start to break. i run to my room, head starting to flake. i close my eyes, and you're in front. you're dead body so cold... i wake up blunt! your skin was pale. your skin was cut. your skin was briused. and all stiched up. when i wake up. i go back to down stairs. i'm welcomed back, to sit beside you lot on my chair. but i walk away. and nothing is said. but all the while, i hear your voice in my head. "listen, darling, i won't leave your side! darling listen! i'm be here alright? every day, i'll be with you. i'll never, ever, let you go. i love you honey, i'll always be round. i won't give up on you, walk way, turn round..." i love you too, but listen up! "you over-dosed, had your stomach pumped. it means enough...! i love you! and won't let you go! i mean it! i'm nothing with out you. i love the way, you hold me firm, but when i'm not with you, i feel drained, hurt. i love it how, you respect my worth. but it hurts bad, to live under these terms". I know that things can't be changed..." it's only the truth, but it hurts any way. i don't want to loose you, you promised I won't. I feel deeply for you, you're my hope. you said you won't die. i just hope not. with out you i'm nothing... i'm better of shot! [comments] => 3 [counter] => 167 [topic] => 21 [informant] => deathdrop [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Lifepoems )
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