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Array
(
[sid] => 56646
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => I Keep Seeing You!
[time] => 2004-07-18 15:07:55
[hometext] => I guess I do care about him, but only because he said he cares about me. But lately i've been seeing him where I go. Then today I saw him for real and it sparked off my suicidal out burst again!
[bodytext] => I see your face in front of me! I see your brown eyes. I see your brown hair with blond streaks. You’re stuck inside my mind!! I remember every detail about you. I remember the upset smile on face. I remember the tone in your voice. I remember that you said, to not put my life to waste! I can see your perfectly ironed uniform. I can hear you soft and kind words. I can feel you stand beside me! Telling me I WILL be heard… You stand beside me. You stand in front. You whisper nothing, But that life is a *****. I find myself crying. To find your illusion gone. YOU STOPPED ME FROM JUMPING! You said that suicide is wrong. You told me I’ll get through it! You say I’m not alone. But when I reached out to hug you. YOU DISAPEARED… Leaving me on my own. I cried in the thudding silence, Then I was asked what’s wrong. I HATE those hallucinations! I hate the fact that you're gone! [comments] => 2 [counter] => 150 [topic] => 61 [informant] => deathdrop [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => selfstruggles )
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