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Array
(
[sid] => 55952
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Coyote Ugly
[time] => 2004-07-13 06:17:52
[hometext] => Had to clean this up a bit before posting here.
[bodytext] => He sashayed into the bar all lean and cool and ordered a jar as he plopped on a stool "Either buy a drink or get on yer bike" "Give me time to think," the patron replied "A shot of whiskey Is what I'll take, It makes me frisky so ya better talk nice for yer very own sake" The fella turned and eyeballed the room checkin' out the talent that he'd be takin' home soon There was nothing fancy that caught his eye tho' he was feeling kinda ansty he kept sippin' on his rye And bided his time as the clock ticked on, he was in his prime sporting a large **** h*rd-on On his seventh drink this horny young fellow found it hard to think; he was gettin' kinda mellow Over in the back booth was a solitary lass with a missing front tooth and a big fat *** The dude sauntered over to the booth, as Marie pondered this guy with no couth He jutted out his hips to profile his ****, as he eyed her ****, she eyed his crotch It was a match made in heaven any fool could see He easily had seven and she was in need They repaired to her room just a few blocks down, they'd be at it soon and they'd do it up brown After some drunken passion they both fell asleep Marie'd had her ration Of this soused up creep Around 6 a.m. the gent began to stir He looked around the room til he got a load of her, idly wondering where she'd parked her broom Then he paled at what he saw and he tried not to move as he gazed at her maw and her monstrous groove He had ta get out 'cus she'd awaken soon, so he glanced about; he knew it was himself he'd have'ta prune 'cus she was layin' across his arm so's he couldn't move without buyin' the farm, So he hatched a plan to break himself free; this poor, desperate man, He was kinda gutsy As you will soon discern, the gent leaned toward Marie, and gnawed at his arm 'till he became an amputee Quietly, he slid off the bed leaving her pillow on his limb so dead Thus lies the fate, and it applies doubly When you chance to mate with a Coyote Ugly Stoney [comments] => 1 [counter] => 201 [topic] => 7 [informant] => Stoney1 [notes] => ......edited by mod_6 for language...13-07-04 [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => HumorPoetry )
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