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Array
(
[sid] => 55615
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => new person emerging
[time] => 2004-07-10 14:04:18
[hometext] => this was written for someone important in my life..but he will never see it.
[bodytext] => You said it's been a while since you felt this way but me, i never have so i'm asking for your help tell me that it's all ok help me be less afraid i'm not used to being happy and i think it's all a set up I'm not afraid of you i'm scared of NOT being afraid Everything here is new and i feel like running but instead i'm staying and i'm not gonna hide maybe if i allow these feelings i'll be ok in the end so i'm not gonna throw it away i'll let myself feel free I'm not afraid of you i'm scared of NOT being afraid I won't chase it away anymore and i won't believe it's a joke i won't tell life to leave me alone and i won't think it's a conspiracy I want to hide cuz' i'm scared life does this alot it builds me up just to knock me down I'm not afraid of you I'm scared of NOT being afraid instead of locking my door i'm gonna give it a second chance because i really like being happy and i'm tired of thinking the worst So i'm gonna take your advice you said, "don't be afraid of being happy." and i know how right you are because i finally feel alive I'm NOT scared of not being afraid and i'm NOT afraid of you! so these are my last words because a new person is emerging one who isn't numb one who knows how to live and now it's ok to smile i love feeling joy and i think that i love you but i know we're taking it slow so these words, you shall never read. I'm not afraid of happyness and i know this isn't a joke i look at the good things in life instead of dwelling on the bad i wish i could let you read this so you could see what you have done i'm happy all the time and it's all because of you. [comments] => 1 [counter] => 148 [topic] => 21 [informant] => purplestary [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Lifepoems )
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