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Array
(
[sid] => 55006
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Naked
[time] => 2004-07-06 13:28:03
[hometext] => ...something i wrote to take ***** from my head..
[bodytext] => "Lately ive been feeling paranoid and scared", i said as i got up from my bed..."perhaps is the drugs?...or am i Imagining all of this? am i dreaming?" i didnt want to realize that the live i once had was gone... i pleeded for my innosence to be kept... cried out while he push himself in me... felt his ***** ***** my body... his sweat comming down his face, down to his lips... he smiled and held my head to the floor... soon the cries could not be heard, soon i couldnt shed a tear nor a scream... my body became his... and his sweat interwined with mine... everytime harsher than the last.... everytime more pain than the last. Yesterday i awoke in a pool of blood... i thought it was a dream...i walked over to cabinet, got a piece of metal that hung from my mirror... throbbed it against my skin...it hurt, it bled...it wasnt a dream. upset and bleeding i whimpered n cried in silence like i always do... i walked down the street felt faces staring and talking their bull***** like they always do. i tried to think of something, something good in my life....nothing was there. i stood there, empty and numb... i ran and ran....fell asleep in a dark alley n soon woke up next to someone id never seen before, next to me there was a needle worn out with nothing left in it... the stranger said i asked for it...i was probably still delusional when i asked him to give it to me.... soon the night's darkness took over me... or so i thought i started shivering and feeling cold... a freezing breeze froze me in my own world.... as i took my last breath i saw my whole life shatter before my eyes again and again.... and once again, my naked body with blood he left, laying there in an alley that took my last breath. [comments] => 2 [counter] => 179 [topic] => 61 [informant] => oneteartofellpain [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => selfstruggles )
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