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Array
(
[sid] => 54966
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Fighting my battles.
[time] => 2004-07-06 06:45:16
[hometext] => I wonder how long i'll feel this way for... still, i'm gonna try! it would be nice if some one could read and comment on this. thanks
[bodytext] => I’m thinking back, On what’s been going on. And I’m listening to my inner voices, Telling me to be strong. So much stuff has happened, Not just recently, over my past. To tell everything, it would take for-ever, And the pain is just too much. So I guess I’ll always hurt. Even when there’s a smile on my face. I’ll always live in a shadow. Because the past I can’t erase. I’m trying not to think of self-harm. But the new strengths I’m going to gain. I don’t want more scars on my arms. I don’t want to live in my stain. It eats away at me silently, And no one see’s I’m feeling low. I often keep my head down, Though, some times I hit back, … But often I don’t. The pain inside has, the ability to break me. And there’s nothing I can do. Some times I don’t need a reason, To snap, to start being rude. But… inside I’m not that person! And I never want to be. And for others maybe it’s easy, But it’s not for twisted old me! Twisted? What does it mean? I’ve been called it enough times. And also, a PATHETIC FREAK! And many other lines. I’m just trying to make some thing of my life! But in the past they didn’t see that, They saw me, With razors, knives. But it’s not me! It’s the control of my mind… When “happiness” is left behind. When there was only darkness to find. But it’s not me… It’s the side you never see. The side that bleeds. The suicidal me. I sit holding my head, Fighting my battles. Trying to let go of my thread. The one that rattles. I look up and ahead. I’m gonna win this battle! No more skin will be shred. I’m cutting down the thistles! [comments] => 6 [counter] => 173 [topic] => 54 [informant] => deathdrop [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 10 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => happypoetry )
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