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Homeless lie
Contributed by
lostinmyself
on
Sunday, 4th July 2004 @ 01:58:10 PM in AEST
Topic:
SadPoetry
|
She walks the streets in hopeless wonder,
Curiously searching the darkest alleyways with her mind,
She searches for nothing and everything,
Shelter, a place to survive the night,
Sor this hopeless crusade called life is beating her,
And her broken box is where she abides,
A blanket pulled up around her shoulders,
And a hopelessness sunk into her eyes,
Refusing to give up the struggle and fall into sorrow,
But living for nothing except the dream of a good life.
These holes have been her home for too long,
Too many days to count since she lost her way
A girl that once had all she could ask for,
The prom queen who would have everything one day,
Her life screaming with happy ever after,
Now fallen into filth and decay,
And now people walk past and mock her,
For she and her friends used to do the same,
Now they dont even want to know her,
Just point and laugh as she hides in shame.
She knows she is strong enough to survive this,
Hope is the only thing keeping her alive.
Copyright ©
lostinmyself
... [
2004-07-04 13:58:10]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Homeless lie
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Sunday, 4th July 2004 @ 02:06:15 PM AEST
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Great write,......sometimes it is hope alone that can keep us alive... i loved it...
pixie xx |
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Re: Homeless lie
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Sunday, 4th July 2004 @ 02:07:16 PM AEST
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| *groans* excuse the end. It died... |
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Re: Homeless lie
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Sunday, 4th July 2004 @ 03:57:00 PM AEST
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I really like some of these images. The alleyways of her mind, the hopelessness sunk into her eyes, the holes that have been her home. Nice stuff.
Stitch |
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Re: Homeless lie
(User Rating: 1 )
by liquidsunshine on
Sunday, 4th July 2004 @ 04:27:05 PM AEST
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"hopelessness sunk into her eyes"
*sigh*
"Philomena",
You've done beautifully.
I hope to read heartwrenching part 2 as well.
Keep 'em coming. :-D
Lots of love and peace be with you,
Chelsea |
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Re: Homeless lie
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 4th July 2004 @ 05:07:59 PM AEST
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I always wonder about the tragedy that caused them to be in the situation. Phil, this is a wonderful write. Like Jarred, I await the next part. You have a wonderful heart and a wonderful storyline here.
Hugs,
Rita |
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Re: Homeless lie
(User Rating: 1 )
by blueheart on
Sunday, 4th July 2004 @ 11:01:47 PM AEST
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| Phil this was a great write. |
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Re: Homeless lie
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Tuesday, 6th July 2004 @ 01:59:16 AM AEST
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sad and beautiful...... very touchingly human........ hugs n' love nessa
@->>->:- |
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Re: Homeless lie
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 6th July 2004 @ 11:25:57 AM AEST
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You say the last two lines just fell? Well, I think they add to the expectation of part two! Begin with those lines, that would be cool! I really like this poem of life that many know of, but few recognize. Wonderfully portrayed.
Angel always...joni |
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Re: Homeless lie
(User Rating: 1 )
by arden on
Tuesday, 6th July 2004 @ 12:12:11 PM AEST
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whoa this is really sad phil.
nicely written. very interesting story. i like this alot and i eagerly await the next part.
nice stuff phil.
5 stars
Arden |
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Re: Homeless lie
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Wednesday, 7th July 2004 @ 05:10:37 AM AEST
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| God..what a trgedy..Phil, you have done this very touchingly..and it captures a truth in our society.. venkat |
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Re: Homeless lie
(User Rating: 1 )
by Avarice_Riot on
Wednesday, 7th July 2004 @ 08:14:30 PM AEST
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| Wow...eerie but vivid...kind of reminds me of that scary movie version of Snow White, the one with Sigourney Weaver...I wish I could believe what you are saying about hope.. |
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Re: Homeless lie
(User Rating: 1 )
by Sinful_Misery on
Thursday, 8th July 2004 @ 08:21:05 PM AEST
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| All I Can Say Is "Wow" That Was One Of The Best Poems I Have EVER Read... |
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Re: Homeless lie
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Tuesday, 13th July 2004 @ 12:52:29 AM AEST
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My apologies for taking so long to get here... but - oh! I'm glad I did. I'm with Stitch on this one... you've stuffed this full of very wonderful, descriptive phases.
The power of this piece is in the reality of it. You've done an incredible job with this poem... focusing it on the thoughts and the history of the subject rather than the immediate circumstance.
Terrific write!
SNM |
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Re: Homeless lie
(User Rating: 1 )
by JamesStockdale on
Friday, 11th September 2020 @ 01:20:11 AM AEST
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| Great poem. |
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