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Welcome ! | Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link | 29-May 21:38:13 AEST | ||
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Array
(
[sid] => 54019
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Loveless marriage
[time] => 2004-06-28 14:16:45
[hometext] => This is a funny story that I wrote.
[bodytext] => A couple have just wed and all seems well. But that soon changes when they get to the motel. Steve: You're so beautiful. You're like a precious little dove. Lori: By the way, I intend to remain celibate so we can't make love. Steve: But you said I do and you're wearing my wedding band. Lori: We're not going any further than kissing and holding hands. Three months pass and they still haven't made love. Steve is going crazy. It's all he can think of. Steve: Lori, I deserve better than this. Lori: All we're going to do is hold hands and kiss. Steve tolerates this because he loves her. A car pulls into the driveway. It's Steve's brother. Steve: Nick, I must speak to you. My wife won't make love even though we said I do. I'll never have any daughters or sons. Nick: Little brother you're not the only one. Steve: But I thought your marriage was filled with bliss. Nick: She won't let me touch her except to hold hands and kiss. Steve: That's exactly what I'm going through. Nick: I'm sorry, Steve but ther's nothing you can do. Steve: We were never intimate while we were dating. I thought she wanted to save it for marriage so I didn't mind waiting. But she never intended to do it at all. I'd have more luck with an inflatable doll. Nick: I know how you feel. Sometimes the sparks start to fly and I can feel the power. But then she pulls the cover over her head and I have to take a cold shower. Sixty years slowly goes by. They never make love even though Steve tried. But suddenly after sixty years, she gets that feeling in her bones. She wants to make love to Steve but he wants her to leave him alone. Lori: You're going to make love to me buster. Steve: But baby, now I'm too old to cut the mustard. [comments] => 2 [counter] => 182 [topic] => 7 [informant] => Randyjohnson [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 6 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => HumorPoetry )
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