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Through the eyes

Contributed by forever_lonely on Thursday, 17th June 2004 @ 07:05:40 PM in AEST
Topic: Grief



You stood there, just staring
Looking down at my little self
So much crying mummy
Just as many tears too, but ill be ok

Im staring back at you mummy
Resting on your big strong shoulders
You shudder whe i kiss your cheek
You dont even listen to me anymore

I broke in tonight, didnt brake anything though
You moved my stuff again, didnt you
Took me hours to put it back
All you did is scream.. and cry

Im in the cupboard again daddy
Our special place, you know
Found that box again daddy
Though this time i didnt hear a bang...



Why no Bang daddy..
..Daddy..
..Daddy im scared...... Mummy?
Why wont you answer.. i guess you dont love me anymore...









... I still love you though.. i promise..




Copyright © forever_lonely ... [ 2004-06-17 19:05:40]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Through the eyes (User Rating: 1 )
by Rakerman1999 on Thursday, 17th June 2004 @ 07:16:07 PM AEST
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What a powerful, powerful write this is. "Hauntingly tragic" would be the perfect description.

This one I won't soon forget my friend
Very Very well written,
Barkeep!!

Larry


Re: Through the eyes (User Rating: 1 )
by STRaNGe_LiNDSeY on Thursday, 17th June 2004 @ 07:22:14 PM AEST
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This was an amazing poem Luke. I'm very impressed. And you are very right, life is different through a memory. great write.

Lindsey


Re: Through the eyes (User Rating: 1 )
by forever_lonely on Thursday, 17th June 2004 @ 07:22:28 PM AEST
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Omg excuse my insolence, it so late here i didn even notice the typo errors i have made

When - 7th line
Break - 9th line

Please Please excuse my insabordination those sort of simple mistakes are unrefutable i am truely so very very sorry

Luke



Re: Through the eyes (User Rating: 1 )
by blueheart on Thursday, 17th June 2004 @ 08:22:43 PM AEST
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Wow like Larry said this is an unforgettable piece. The childlike innocence written to perfection.


Re: Through the eyes (User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on Friday, 18th June 2004 @ 06:41:56 AM AEST
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i am choked up reading this,

pixie xx


Re: Through the eyes (User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on Wednesday, 23rd June 2004 @ 06:06:30 PM AEST
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luke..... this is haunting and chilling.... hugs n' love nessa

@->>->:-


Re: Through the eyes (User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on Saturday, 3rd July 2004 @ 09:16:19 AM AEST
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Staggering. I am utterly overwhelmed. "Though this time i didn't hear a bang..." Wow, that particular line completely totaled me.

Again impressed,
SNM




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