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Array ( [sid] => 51959 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => desperate girl [time] => 2004-06-14 21:46:30 [hometext] => [bodytext] => Every three months
a desperate switch
to find The One
to fill your void
making you worthy

another failed attempt
to find a mind
less empty
than your eyes

but you leave them
with something
plant a seed inside
to grow swiftly
consuming
the insignificant
life inside. [comments] => 9 [counter] => 263 [topic] => 8 [informant] => betty [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 4 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 0 [associated] => [topicname] => AmericanTragedy )

desperate girl

Contributed by betty on Monday, 14th June 2004 @ 09:46:30 PM in AEST
Topic: AmericanTragedy

Every three months
a desperate switch
to find The One
to fill your void
making you worthy

another failed attempt
to find a mind
less empty
than your eyes

but you leave them
with something
plant a seed inside
to grow swiftly
consuming
the insignificant
life inside.

Copyright © betty ... [ 2004-06-14 21:46:30]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: desperate girl (User Rating: 1 )
by Katie2008 on Monday, 14th June 2004 @ 09:58:47 PM AEST
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I like your poem, however I could relate it more to people then I could American Tragedy. It was very well written
Katie

Re: desperate girl (User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on Monday, 14th June 2004 @ 10:21:34 PM AEST
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great write.

Re: desperate girl (User Rating: 1 )
by loveisendless on Tuesday, 15th June 2004 @ 12:27:42 AM AEST
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I DIDN'T LIKE IT! IT WASN'T THAT GOOD!! WELL,I SHOULD HONESTLY SAY THAT THE REAL TRUTH IS.....I LOVED IT & IT WAS GREAT!!! IT WAS WRITTEN REALLY WELL & ITS MEANING DOES SOAK THROUGH!!!! SO I SAY YOU'VE MADE THE RIGHT CHOICE FOR PUTTING THEM UP FOR ALL OF US TO READ!!!!! KEEP IT UP!!!!!!

DAN!!!!!!!

Re: desperate girl (User Rating: 1 )
by JT on Tuesday, 15th June 2004 @ 06:50:29 AM AEST
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great write. gets the mind ticking over.
keep em coming
-jt-

Re: desperate girl (User Rating: 1 )
by aernby on Thursday, 17th June 2004 @ 07:11:53 AM AEST
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betty,
This is a fine write.

It flows flows well, with few if any unnecessary words.

One observation you use no punctuation, question: does this impede communication with the reader?

Well done!

Re: desperate girl (User Rating: 1 )
by InnerBeautyQueen on Saturday, 19th June 2004 @ 10:16:54 PM AEST
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!!! very good

Re: desperate girl (User Rating: 1 )
by Living_In_My_Dream on Saturday, 19th June 2004 @ 10:47:00 PM AEST
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wow! I liked this one a lot...lots of feeling and emotion making it a powerful piece for all to remember!!! keep up the good work...
much love,
Dani

Re: desperate girl (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Saturday, 19th June 2004 @ 11:20:57 PM AEST
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Very nice write and it flows wonderfully.
~Kris~

Re: desperate girl (User Rating: 1 )
by Rhei76 on Tuesday, 6th July 2004 @ 08:37:34 AM AEST
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Great write. And I get a feeling from it. But what are you talking 'bout? If you have the time.

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