Poems On Site: 198,500+ Comments On Poems: 427,000+ Forum Posts: 105,000+ |
Custom Search
|
|
||||
Welcome ! | Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link | 29-May 18:08:10 AEST | ||
|
||||
|
||||
|
|
Array
(
[sid] => 5183
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => I cried today.
[time] => 2002-10-16 21:00:00
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => I cried one tear – that’s all – only one.
I cried because, well, because… I was crying. Inside. The pain of a happy past is far greater than that of a past rent with destruction. Who has more to look forward to at the start of each new day? The sun is bright and beautiful to those who have known only darkness and shadow. I, for one, have seen heaven’s luster, and the sunlight seems dull and depressing. I am crying again, or I should say still, because while the tear has dried from my face my chest still aches with the uncertainty of this new life, “brimming with promise,” or so they say, yet devoid of hope. A cherished past is a burden like no other. What if now I can become no more than I was before? My days up to now are suddenly rich but meaningless, Perfect but Over. As each Texas sun dawns on each new day, I aspire once more to be great, to be bold, to be remembered, to Live. And as each Texas sun fades behind a hand-painted curtain of dusk, I curl clenched in the darkness and try to sleep, try to forget, try to ignore… the dreams go unrealized. The opportunities unseen or unseized. The hope… lost, as usual, as always. Awake, always awake, I know I need catharsis Something anything please… please. Take me back. I have finally characterized my pain – it is loneliness. Loneliness, like yet unlike anything I’ve known. More sharp, more bitter, more constant. I lie to myself. I reason that it has to hurt less at certain times – It only hurts sometimes, it only hurts most of the time. It only hurts in the dark, or in sunlight, or when the wind blows through my hair. It only hurts when I’m lost in the silence or when my voice is drowned in the roar of a crowd. It only hurts when I think… It only hurts when I breathe… It only hurts always. I took 2 sleeping pills yesterday. Maybe, today I will take 3. [comments] => 1 [counter] => 240 [topic] => 36 [informant] => Little_Miss_Magic [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 7 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Suicide )
|