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Array
(
[sid] => 51757
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => ENVOKING MY OWN HELL
[time] => 2004-06-13 16:47:09
[hometext] => ...suicide...
[bodytext] => many people see me and judge me with out even knowing my name. they see me and categorize me as something im not, with out knowing the worst part of my life. i have nothing to hold onto nothing to call my own. last night i layed awake...thinking about my sweet death.waiting upon dawn to take those pills... something stopped me dont know exaclty what... i got up and cried like the coward i am... noticeing that i couldnt do it...i fell to the floor with a shattered heart shaking and cryin got my blade and carved in me something ill never forget...feeling the blood rushing down my wrists...holding on to my last breath i sighed...fell to the floor n saw my childhood flash across my eyes... i saw my mother crying wishin for my to come back seeing my father pleeding for forgiveness n telling me he loved me... seeing my sister and brother holding my life-less body...finally laying in my own doom.... ...i woke up in a white room with people around my starring and pointing at me....i saw my wrists n saw the stiches...i dont regret what i did...for every scar has its own hidden tale... this one shows u where i gave up where my cries didnt satisfy n burned my skin... where the blade indeed went in too deep... n where i cried my self to what i thought would be my last sleep... [comments] => 6 [counter] => 165 [topic] => 36 [informant] => oneteartofellpain [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 16 [ratings] => 5 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Suicide )
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