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Array
(
[sid] => 51753
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => A Suicide Note
[time] => 2004-06-13 16:16:12
[hometext] => just something I constantly think about...
[bodytext] => by the time you get this I will already have done it,
I will already be dead
because of the things that run through my head
it was just the next step to put the noose around my neck
because inside I had already died
there was no bringing me back,
I was already standing on the edge
already jumpped, no more me, and hopefully no regret
no more abandonment, no more distrust
no more boys wanting me for lust
I do have to admit I have fear in my eyes
even though the many times I've tried
but this time will be my last
as my head explodes from one final blast
Mom, I'm sorry and I love you
all the things they said about suicide were true
tell my family I love them and I'm sorry they tried
but they don't know how much I've wanted to die
tell Chris I love him and always will
tell the people that acctually cared that I'm sorry
tell my dad thanks for drinking and abandoning me
Mom, I don't know what happened to my mind
happiness in it, so hard to find
but if you'd been paying attention you'd have saw
the lonely girl begining to fall
but you couldn't see that I hated myself and my life,
and how I just wanted to end it all with a knife
nobody noticed the tears running down my face
or the pain stabbing my heart with no escape
my hurt stays locked up inside
as I was sitting there left to cry
abandoned by my friends,
that's why I wanted it to be the end
they taught me a lesson about life,
that no one can be trusted accept yourself and a knife
sleep brings release as waking hours are filled with pain
but the things they said still remain
tears are filling my eyes right now
as I'm writing this all I can think about is how
how can people hate so much
I am so afraid
I'm out of touch
Chris, I'm staring at your picture here sitting on my bed
just wondering why you said what you said
very ironic since last time you were the one to save me
now the one to push me off the edge
but it never crossed your mind that I'd be sitting here writing this did it?
the questions I asked never clicked
my internal clock, inside it ticked
it told me it was time to go
to release all the pain inside that will never cease
my mind told me it was the right thing to do
then people would care
then they'd relize it was more than they could bare
people never again will be able to betray
nor would they be able to run away
because I would be gone,
hung in a tree,
so then maybe people would see that I just wanted to die.
[comments] => 10
[counter] => 290
[topic] => 36
[informant] => screwup
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 5
[ratings] => 1
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => Suicide
)
A Suicide Note
Contributed by
screwup
on
Sunday, 13th June 2004 @ 04:16:12 PM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
|
by the time you get this I will already have done it,
I will already be dead
because of the things that run through my head
it was just the next step to put the noose around my neck
because inside I had already died
there was no bringing me back,
I was already standing on the edge
already jumpped, no more me, and hopefully no regret
no more abandonment, no more distrust
no more boys wanting me for lust
I do have to admit I have fear in my eyes
even though the many times I've tried
but this time will be my last
as my head explodes from one final blast
Mom, I'm sorry and I love you
all the things they said about suicide were true
tell my family I love them and I'm sorry they tried
but they don't know how much I've wanted to die
tell Chris I love him and always will
tell the people that acctually cared that I'm sorry
tell my dad thanks for drinking and abandoning me
Mom, I don't know what happened to my mind
happiness in it, so hard to find
but if you'd been paying attention you'd have saw
the lonely girl begining to fall
but you couldn't see that I hated myself and my life,
and how I just wanted to end it all with a knife
nobody noticed the tears running down my face
or the pain stabbing my heart with no escape
my hurt stays locked up inside
as I was sitting there left to cry
abandoned by my friends,
that's why I wanted it to be the end
they taught me a lesson about life,
that no one can be trusted accept yourself and a knife
sleep brings release as waking hours are filled with pain
but the things they said still remain
tears are filling my eyes right now
as I'm writing this all I can think about is how
how can people hate so much
I am so afraid
I'm out of touch
Chris, I'm staring at your picture here sitting on my bed
just wondering why you said what you said
very ironic since last time you were the one to save me
now the one to push me off the edge
but it never crossed your mind that I'd be sitting here writing this did it?
the questions I asked never clicked
my internal clock, inside it ticked
it told me it was time to go
to release all the pain inside that will never cease
my mind told me it was the right thing to do
then people would care
then they'd relize it was more than they could bare
people never again will be able to betray
nor would they be able to run away
because I would be gone,
hung in a tree,
so then maybe people would see that I just wanted to die.
Copyright ©
screwup
... [
2004-06-13 16:16:12]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: A Suicide Note
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Sunday, 13th June 2004 @ 04:37:49 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| So, I think you want a comment to this. What is it that makes wanting to end your life so appealing- I really want to know. |
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Re: A Suicide Note
(User Rating: 1 )
by oneteartofellpain on
Sunday, 13th June 2004 @ 04:53:34 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| damn this is heavy...i know what u go trhough for i am in my suicidal phase too....i dont know what else to say...very good write.. i admire ur work!!!i give it 4 thumbs up..(countig my toes too)lol :) |
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Re: A Suicide Note
(User Rating: 1 )
by InnerBeautyQueen on
Sunday, 13th June 2004 @ 05:05:47 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| i know how this feels. and it hurts like hell. |
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Re: A Suicide Note
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Sunday, 13th June 2004 @ 05:09:48 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
beautifully written expression of feelings, i have been there myself, your not alone and you have a brilliant talent to share with the world, im here if you would like to talk, and have written two poems on the subject, big hugs n' lotsa love, hang in there, nessa xxx...
@->>->:- |
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Re: A Suicide Note
(User Rating: 1 )
by willow_tara72002 on
Sunday, 13th June 2004 @ 06:32:26 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
This is a very good write, and good at explaing how you feel. Nothing i can say would make you change your mind,. But i kow how you feel and so do many other ppl. I have tryed to kill myself, and believe me,. its not worth it. Nothng is worth killing yourself over, even though life seems like its too hard to bare, and everythings better if you would give up,. and just end everything. Thats not the way out, and its a cowardly way out. No one whould have to feel lik they should die, but they do, and its just not worth it to kill yourself because things will get better even if you think it wont. There are people that care about you, whether you know them or not, there are people that care, including me. No one should feel like they deserve to die,or want to die.. take care
-Amber |
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Re: A Suicide Note
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Monday, 14th June 2004 @ 09:45:31 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
very heartfelt and moving,
thanks for sharing
pixie xx |
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Re: A Suicide Note
(User Rating: 1 )
by Living_In_My_Dream on
Sunday, 20th June 2004 @ 07:14:22 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
wow the tiltle striked me because I have a poem called A suicidal note...and so I read it and found it to be a great write...I know how you are feeling because I am suicidal and it is really hard...I have brought my self up higher and am getting better and realizing there is so much more to life then killig myself I hope you think the same...
keep it up...
much love,
Dani |
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Re: A Suicide Note
(User Rating: 1 )
by Trisha on
Friday, 25th June 2004 @ 10:30:46 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| This Is Very Sad You Need To Face Your Life Because It's Worth It God Brought You Here For A Reason. |
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Re: A Suicide Note
(User Rating: 1 )
by deathdrop on
Monday, 30th August 2004 @ 09:39:57 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
i feel your pain...
i feel this feeling so much.
i feel for you so deeply.
if you want to talk, PM me. |
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Re: A Suicide Note
(User Rating: 1 )
by deathdrop on
Saturday, 11th September 2004 @ 04:22:14 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
all the feeling for what you wanted to go, i feel too!
exactly the same!
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