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Array ( [sid] => 51417 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => This Insomniatic Mania [time] => 2004-06-11 08:17:29 [hometext] => Lately no one's been commenting on my poetry. Perhaps this is confirming my suspicions that my poetry is crap. Even so, I'd appreciate your feedback. How can I make it...semi-decent? [bodytext] => this night lingers faithfully
haunting every part of me.
this rage--I’ve shoved it down inside.
insecurities and fears I hide.
it seems the break of dawn--so distant
a plague of fearful dreams insistent.
the price I pay to stay the same
former tokens of times insane.
I’m counting down the time till light
though my rescue comes from lack of sight.
blindness comes to rescue me,
the blood of night--I cease to see.
embracing every ragged breath
slowly bringing closer death.
enough apologies for what is right.
your evidence will fade in this eternal night. [comments] => 6 [counter] => 164 [topic] => 60 [informant] => liquidchaos [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 18 [ratings] => 4 [editpoem] => 0 [associated] => [topicname] => insomniac )

This Insomniatic Mania

Contributed by liquidchaos on Friday, 11th June 2004 @ 08:17:29 AM in AEST
Topic: insomniac

this night lingers faithfully
haunting every part of me.
this rage--I’ve shoved it down inside.
insecurities and fears I hide.
it seems the break of dawn--so distant
a plague of fearful dreams insistent.
the price I pay to stay the same
former tokens of times insane.
I’m counting down the time till light
though my rescue comes from lack of sight.
blindness comes to rescue me,
the blood of night--I cease to see.
embracing every ragged breath
slowly bringing closer death.
enough apologies for what is right.
your evidence will fade in this eternal night.

Copyright Â© liquidchaos ... [ 2004-06-11 08:17:29]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: This Insomniatic Mania (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Friday, 11th June 2004 @ 08:35:58 AM AEST
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I don't see any problem in your writing. The comment thing? Well, with all the newbies on the site and the page now moving much faster, people seem to be reading more than commenting. Ignore it, and write all the beauty that flows from your pen. Write it, and they will read! This poem is not bad at all! And it *IS* decent!!
Angel always...godspeed...joni

Re: This Insomniatic Mania (User Rating: 1 )
by thumper on Friday, 11th June 2004 @ 08:40:49 AM AEST
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I liked this. It was reminiscent of Poe,(kinda the same rhythm) I thought. But what do I know! lol Seriously though, as I started to read, I could hear Poe's "The Raven" in my mind. I think it's fine the way it is, and I can relate to the subject. Nice work.
Thumps ; 0 )

Re: This Insomniatic Mania (User Rating: 1 )
by Thivanka on Friday, 11th June 2004 @ 09:30:15 AM AEST
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I see nothing wrong either! Your poem is good, honestly. More than Semi - Decent, and that's my view.
Keep on writing!
-Thivanka

Re: This Insomniatic Mania (User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on Friday, 11th June 2004 @ 11:09:21 AM AEST
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I thought this was a great poem....... thanks for sharing

pixie xx

Re: This Insomniatic Mania (User Rating: 1 )
by deathdrop on Monday, 21st June 2004 @ 12:29:29 PM AEST
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i think this is good stuff too.
keep i up!!!

Re: This Insomniatic Mania (User Rating: 1 )
by deathdrop on Monday, 30th August 2004 @ 10:51:28 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

it's a fantastic poem!!
i can relate very much so to your feelings.

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