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Array
(
[sid] => 50617
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => HoW am I...HOW AM I..??
[time] => 2004-06-06 07:11:27
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => How am I? HOW AM I? Do you really want to hear? Well if you have an hour to spare, I’ll sit here and bend your ear. It all started last Tuesday, When my Uncle came to call, He brought his wolfhound with him, From what I can recall. We sat there talking quietly, When that dog began to bark, He got awfully excited, So we walked him to the park. Just by the park’s entrance, I went to slip off that lead, He made a dash, and I tripped, Made both my poor knees bleed. I tried to stand, my shoe was caught, I fell flat into a puddle, That darned old dog leapt on me, While my head was all a fuddle. I pushed and shoved with all my might, To escape his vile intention, But as I scrambled to my feet, He did something I shouldn’t mention. I screamed so loud the dog ran off, The lead caught on my arm, Across the grass he dragged me, I knew I’d come to harm. I closed my eyes, we hit a tree, I came to a sudden halt, People stared on around me, As if it was all MY fault. Up I sat to clear my head, I saw the tear right down my dress, My pants on show to one and all, I was in an awful mess. Limping home to tend my wounds, To the other side of the street, A car sped through the puddle, The splash swept me off my feet, Soaked completely to the skin, I dripped across the kitchen floor, That hound attacked me from behind, Just wanting to play some more. His kind of games are not for me, This hound he plays too rough. I was in no mood for playing. I had surely had enough. My Uncle said it was time to go, And they would leave me on my own, As he left the room, I called to him, ‘Next time, Leave the dog at home’ But I was glad when to that hound, I could at last say my farewell. So here I am, battered and bruised, But still alive, with a tale to tell. [comments] => 1 [counter] => 155 [topic] => 7 [informant] => AnnD [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => HumorPoetry )
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