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Array ( [sid] => 49936 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Blackened [time] => 2004-06-01 07:28:48 [hometext] => I've been playing with this for almost a month and it still doesn't seem right, but oh well. Hope you enjoy it. [bodytext] => Your eyes are those of a broken man
Bent and blackened by the ages
Try to be strong but you're
really just hiding a tremble
Somewhere along the road you
lost your way and it shows
Your ashes claw at my eyes
but the blood is brewing my spirit
I bear witness, scrawl my name in
your veins
I've never seen anything more precious
A lost breath of art drifting through the ruins
Take you out of obseleteness
and dress you in gold
Be the reviviscent spoon of air for your soul
I'd drink in your tears
if it could lessen your sorrow
in a world that revels in falling apart
I'll haul in what I can from the worthy
Hope it'll still be there in the morning
to greet eyes that are broken no more. [comments] => 12 [counter] => 257 [topic] => 16 [informant] => Avarice_Riot [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 24 [ratings] => 5 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => FriendshipPoetry )

Blackened

Contributed by Avarice_Riot on Tuesday, 1st June 2004 @ 07:28:48 AM in AEST
Topic: FriendshipPoetry

Your eyes are those of a broken man
Bent and blackened by the ages
Try to be strong but you're
really just hiding a tremble
Somewhere along the road you
lost your way and it shows
Your ashes claw at my eyes
but the blood is brewing my spirit
I bear witness, scrawl my name in
your veins
I've never seen anything more precious
A lost breath of art drifting through the ruins
Take you out of obseleteness
and dress you in gold
Be the reviviscent spoon of air for your soul
I'd drink in your tears
if it could lessen your sorrow
in a world that revels in falling apart
I'll haul in what I can from the worthy
Hope it'll still be there in the morning
to greet eyes that are broken no more.

Copyright © Avarice_Riot ... [ 2004-06-01 07:28:48]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Blackened (User Rating: 1 )
by bernard on Tuesday, 1st June 2004 @ 07:30:42 AM AEST
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Strong write wording is good.

bernard

Re: Blackened (User Rating: 1 )
by StrangeLittleGirl on Tuesday, 1st June 2004 @ 07:40:51 AM AEST
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I wish I had a friend like you, you are obviously very caring :)

Re: Blackened (User Rating: 1 )
by Luinil on Tuesday, 1st June 2004 @ 08:51:36 AM AEST
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sounds great to me... your expression is wonderful... great write

Re: Blackened (User Rating: 1 )
by reilt on Tuesday, 1st June 2004 @ 11:08:08 AM AEST
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brilliant write... i thought it was perfect as is

Re: Blackened (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Wednesday, 2nd June 2004 @ 04:29:43 AM AEST
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Such compassion in your words. A very marvelous write!!!!

Re: Blackened (User Rating: 1 )
by apollo on Thursday, 3rd June 2004 @ 08:20:58 AM AEST
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powerful. that is the one word i thought of after reading this. the message is very powerful and it is a very good piece.

brandon

Re: Blackened (User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on Friday, 4th June 2004 @ 03:54:48 AM AEST
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powerful words..dark images..yet very caring and friendly tone..a rare type of writing. Very good my dear girl. I enjoyed its read. venkat

Re: Blackened (User Rating: 1 )
by blueheart on Friday, 4th June 2004 @ 04:08:20 AM AEST
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What can I say that hasnt already been said?
You've dished out another fabulous piece which I enjoyed immensely.
You are a wonderful friend, your words have said it all.
Brilliant, Ave. I wish you'd post more often.

Re: Blackened (User Rating: 1 )
by Ronald on Friday, 11th June 2004 @ 01:56:06 AM AEST
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Hey pal!! Wonderful poem. It reflects your wonderful heart. I believe you are a caring person. Great write, pal!

Re: Blackened (User Rating: 1 )
by arden on Sunday, 13th June 2004 @ 07:47:01 AM AEST
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strong powerful words.
this was such a great, caring write. i cant explain it. but anyway perfectly done.
keep em coming.
Arden

Re: Blackened (User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on Sunday, 13th June 2004 @ 07:59:16 AM AEST
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Your friend is very lucky to have you.
I love this one too.
So strong, i dont see any problem with it. I love your words.

"Your ashes claw at my eyes
but the blood is brewing my spirit
I bear witness, scrawl my name in
your veins"

brilliant!

*hugs* phil xxx

Re: Blackened (User Rating: 1 )
by alecfernadez on Saturday, 19th June 2004 @ 11:01:54 AM AEST
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another brilliant poem!

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