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Array
(
[sid] => 49128
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => [[[no closure]]]
[time] => 2004-05-25 21:19:23
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => How do you feel?
I feel morbid.
How do you feel?
I feel morbid.
How do you feel?
I feel morbid, I
was walking home today, over
a bridge, over
a highway, I
walked and I
saw a bus
...80km/hr...
I saw a bus, and I
wanted to,
I wanted...
let me jump
let me fall
let it hit
me now, so hard
(i'm sure to die...)
Then, walking
(over bridge,
over highway,
over bus)
missed my chance, my
fingers clenched, I
didn't want to
didn't want...
home sweet home,
razor cutting deep
useless slashes
(still alive...)
No! No! No!
(see, now i know)
not good enough...
this is useless, very
uneffective, I
would sure like to do it right...
{{ Gosh, my wrist is itching
I want to die.
I want to cut so deep
I won't be around to scar...
Oh dear God it is so thrilling a thought,
so tantilizing a notion,
my tongue is tickling, curling,
my mouth is watering...
Gosh, my wrist is itching,
my thighs... }}
I thought
of life without me...
(my little brother)
Lane's not coming back...?
Remember when we used to play Poke'mon?
You know I always loved Charmander...
Have my Playstation, and my games...
(I would have wanted you to have them....)
Lane's not coming back...?
Don't worry... I'll still be around in your memory...
I wish I could have seen your sixteenth
birthday though...
He said when he got his place that I could
sleep over...
My Gramma died last night.
Lane, its a social obligation to go to this funeral.
I don't want to go to this ***** funeral!!
She was cool alive,
LET ME ***** REMEMBER!!
LET ME ***** BE!!
{{ Gosh, my wrist is itching
I want to die.
I want to cut so deep
I won't be around to scar...
Oh dear God it is so thrilling a thought,
so tantilizing a notion,
my tongue is tickling, curling,
my mouth is watering...
Gosh, my wrist is itching,
my thighs... }}
Then others...
Lane never logged in this whole week...
what's going on?
Oh God, I hope he's ok...
Oh God...
There would be no closure, now I sadly see...
No way to know...
I am cruel I am evil
I am cruel I am evil
Holy **, though!
Think about it!
Oh my God it would be so ***** easy!
Everything! Gone!
(i'm twitching)
Nothing more to think about!
*****! I feel so enlightened!
(i know this has gone completely un-poetic
but WOW!)
I don't think I've ever felt better about my own life,
then when I am this close
to making it a memory...
(calm down, Lane... breathe...)
Oh yes...
How do you feel?
I feel morbid.
How do you feel?
I feel morbid.
How do you feel?
I feel morbid.
How do you feel?
I feel exhilarated!!
Oh yes...
[comments] => 7
[counter] => 218
[topic] => 36
[informant] => SensitiveSoAbused
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 9
[ratings] => 2
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => Suicide
)
[[[no closure]]]
Contributed by
SensitiveSoAbused
on
Tuesday, 25th May 2004 @ 09:19:23 PM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
|
How do you feel?
I feel morbid.
How do you feel?
I feel morbid.
How do you feel?
I feel morbid, I
was walking home today, over
a bridge, over
a highway, I
walked and I
saw a bus
...80km/hr...
I saw a bus, and I
wanted to,
I wanted...
let me jump
let me fall
let it hit
me now, so hard
(i'm sure to die...)
Then, walking
(over bridge,
over highway,
over bus)
missed my chance, my
fingers clenched, I
didn't want to
didn't want...
home sweet home,
razor cutting deep
useless slashes
(still alive...)
No! No! No!
(see, now i know)
not good enough...
this is useless, very
uneffective, I
would sure like to do it right...
{{ Gosh, my wrist is itching
I want to die.
I want to cut so deep
I won't be around to scar...
Oh dear God it is so thrilling a thought,
so tantilizing a notion,
my tongue is tickling, curling,
my mouth is watering...
Gosh, my wrist is itching,
my thighs... }}
I thought
of life without me...
(my little brother)
Lane's not coming back...?
Remember when we used to play Poke'mon?
You know I always loved Charmander...
Have my Playstation, and my games...
(I would have wanted you to have them....)
Lane's not coming back...?
Don't worry... I'll still be around in your memory...
I wish I could have seen your sixteenth
birthday though...
He said when he got his place that I could
sleep over...
My Gramma died last night.
Lane, its a social obligation to go to this funeral.
I don't want to go to this ***** funeral!!
She was cool alive,
LET ME ***** REMEMBER!!
LET ME ***** BE!!
{{ Gosh, my wrist is itching
I want to die.
I want to cut so deep
I won't be around to scar...
Oh dear God it is so thrilling a thought,
so tantilizing a notion,
my tongue is tickling, curling,
my mouth is watering...
Gosh, my wrist is itching,
my thighs... }}
Then others...
Lane never logged in this whole week...
what's going on?
Oh God, I hope he's ok...
Oh God...
There would be no closure, now I sadly see...
No way to know...
I am cruel I am evil
I am cruel I am evil
Holy **, though!
Think about it!
Oh my God it would be so ***** easy!
Everything! Gone!
(i'm twitching)
Nothing more to think about!
*****! I feel so enlightened!
(i know this has gone completely un-poetic
but WOW!)
I don't think I've ever felt better about my own life,
then when I am this close
to making it a memory...
(calm down, Lane... breathe...)
Oh yes...
How do you feel?
I feel morbid.
How do you feel?
I feel morbid.
How do you feel?
I feel morbid.
How do you feel?
I feel exhilarated!!
Oh yes...
Copyright ©
SensitiveSoAbused
... [
2004-05-25 21:19:23]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: [[[no closure]]]
(User Rating: 1 )
by thumper on
Tuesday, 25th May 2004 @ 09:30:38 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Can you explain to me what cutting does to you? How it makes you feel. I don't make comments on cutting or S.I. poems because I don't understand the idea of the whole thing, but my daughter cuts and my granddaughter is already showing signs of S. I. I would like to understand it. I'm raising my grankids and facing this I would like to know what the effect is. Please answer by p.m. thankyou
Thumps |
|
|
Re: [[[no closure]]]
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 25th May 2004 @ 10:36:50 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| How selfish you are to entertain the notion. If you had done it there would have been earthly closure for you and absolutely no closure ever and neverending questions in the minds of those that love you. It would give them guilt and questions that could never in their whole lives could be answered. How dare you be so selfish and cruel. Life is tough sometimes, get used to it. It is damn well better than the alternative. |
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Re: [[[no closure]]]
(User Rating: 1 )
by brigitte7735 on
Tuesday, 25th May 2004 @ 11:07:20 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I thought this was an excellent poem...
I mean you totally opened yourself up to us, i dont know its just my personal opinion, the honesty, the harsh reality, "how do you feel..i feel morbid", when you start censoring peoples feelings by telling them that life sucks get used to it, they wont open up to you anymore...but they'll still think it.
Ive never cut myself either, never had a desire, but ive sure had this overwhelming urge when standing at the side of a cliff to throw myself off it.
I personally dont think its selfish to want to kill youself, i just wouldnt recommend it because occasionally, if you really pay attention, life doesnt suck ( sorry Joss Whedon said that )
But for the most part, i just love that you opened yourself up so much, i think its glorious.
Vanessa |
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|
Re: [[[no closure]]]
(User Rating: 1 )
by Black13 on
Tuesday, 25th May 2004 @ 11:37:43 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Lane...
this was wicked and we live there.
They will never understand... This is not a f*cking vacation spot.
No one will ever understand us except for us.
They don't live where we do.
Outside of saying that this was a f*cking excellent write.
Nice job man. |
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Re: [[[no closure]]]
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Wednesday, 26th May 2004 @ 12:02:04 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I find it odd that people can be so incredibly crass in the face of another's pain. It *****es me off so incredibly much that I don't have the words to describe it. I can't honestly say I enjoyed this poem reading this from someone I know so well was hard to read, but I am glad that you got your feelings/thoughts written out in an intelligent manner. In any case pay no heed to comments written out by ppl who don't understand or attempt to understand. its a shame it really is...
Bobo (Joel) |
|
|
Re: [[[no closure]]]
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Wednesday, 26th May 2004 @ 04:05:15 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
omg lane,
please, talk to me ok?
im so, so sorry...
this made me feel sick, really did,
talk to me..
lots of love, phil xxx |
|
|
Re: [[[no closure]]]
(User Rating: 1 )
by InnerBeautyQueen on
Friday, 4th June 2004 @ 11:26:11 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
this completely expresses everything so many people feel. you get the point across so well that people who don't understand it just might. i hope you feel loads and loads better.
xoxo's
~Courtney~ |
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