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Array ( [sid] => 48750 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Rock & a Hard Place [time] => 2004-05-23 04:37:09 [hometext] => This could be a poem about a family trek gone wrong as a metaphor for dealing with your inner demons before they ruin you, or maybe I'm trying to rationalise which creative well this one came from. You decide.... [bodytext] => The journey we took was overlong,
and the kids you know, weren’t very strong
they were first to fall to the heat's embrace,
between a rock and a hard place.

We were going in circles but I was hell bent,
to stay on the path and not relent
“Come on!” I said, “Pick up the pace!”
we’re between a rock and a hard place.

When we finally realised where we were,
back where we started but worse for wear
you should have seen the look on my face,
there between a rock and a hard place.

I fell to my knees and cursed the sky,
all I wanted to know was why
but the angels must have spared their grace,
between a rock and a hard place.

So there was no choice but to hit the track,
knowing it would eventually bring us back
back to the truths we have to face,
between a rock and a hard place. [comments] => 6 [counter] => 254 [topic] => 64 [informant] => spike [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 33 [ratings] => 7 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => ambiguous )

Rock & a Hard Place

Contributed by spike on Sunday, 23rd May 2004 @ 04:37:09 AM in AEST
Topic: ambiguous

The journey we took was overlong,
and the kids you know, weren’t very strong
they were first to fall to the heat's embrace,
between a rock and a hard place.

We were going in circles but I was hell bent,
to stay on the path and not relent
“Come on!” I said, “Pick up the pace!”
we’re between a rock and a hard place.

When we finally realised where we were,
back where we started but worse for wear
you should have seen the look on my face,
there between a rock and a hard place.

I fell to my knees and cursed the sky,
all I wanted to know was why
but the angels must have spared their grace,
between a rock and a hard place.

So there was no choice but to hit the track,
knowing it would eventually bring us back
back to the truths we have to face,
between a rock and a hard place.

Copyright Â© spike ... [ 2004-05-23 04:37:09]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Rock & a Hard Place (User Rating: 1 )
by TalonionPoet on Sunday, 23rd May 2004 @ 04:54:39 AM AEST
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I'm sorry, but I couldn't help but smile while reading as the "family trip". 'Specially:

"You should have seen the look on her face,
There between a rock and a hard place."

Anyway, the rhyming went well and the rhythm never got awkward. And even though the family trip thing made me smile, I much more easily see it as an inner struggle with oneself. The dialouge, when read this way, makes it seem like the person is pushing him/herself to try harder then you might be willing to.

Anyway, I likes. :)

Re: Rock & a Hard Place (User Rating: 1 )
by Jackee_line on Sunday, 23rd May 2004 @ 05:56:15 AM AEST
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Well done, nice flow to your poem, I enjoyed it very much.

Re: Rock & a Hard Place (User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on Sunday, 23rd May 2004 @ 08:45:36 AM AEST
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This is a terrific "make you think" poem.... I've read it over a few times and each time noticed something different and/or thought something new about it. I like it very much.

Couple thoughts... (hope you don't mind!). You're rhyming "pace" in each verse but the first. I struggled to get comfortable with the first verse... "thirst" felt a bit awkward and saying the kids "weren't strong" seemed... I don't know - blunt, I guess. I couldn't come up with another "ace" ending for you - but thought maybe a "aste" would create a better flow... such as:

The journey we took was overlong
And the kids tried so hard to be strong
But they fell to the heat, began to waste
Between a rock and a hard place

Just ignore me if you weren't looking for suggestions! I don't mean to be sticking my nose in if it's not wanted. I did enjoy this and will be re-reading now and again. Nice write!

Re: Rock & a Hard Place (User Rating: 1 )
by DreamWeaver on Monday, 24th May 2004 @ 04:44:36 AM AEST
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Great write, and if it is written with a metaphor in mind, well done ... I enjoyed this immensely ... Jan

Re: Rock & a Hard Place (User Rating: 1 )
by Avarice_Riot on Sunday, 30th May 2004 @ 02:58:38 AM AEST
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This kind of hits a little too close for home. Great poem. Btw, I'm sorry I haven't been commenting on your poems lately, my Internet connection's being a demon. I have really missed reading your stuff.

Re: Rock & a Hard Place (User Rating: 1 )
by evilfairy on Tuesday, 1st June 2004 @ 01:49:00 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I liked your poem - but i think it's something i want to think on a bit more to understand what it means to me... :)

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