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Mud
Contributed by
Mortis-Dark
on
Thursday, 20th May 2004 @ 08:20:09 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
Times change.
The wheather's rain.
It seems these clouds arent going to pass.
Everything lingers over head.
There just sint a cure for my depression.
You tell her how you feel.
She questions you.
You feel the cold chill of her laughter running dow your back.
In need of something to numb this pain.
No prescription will do.
The only thing can help me is you.
My breath.
My light.
You are everything to me.
We talk at night.
Before the moons rises and the sun shortly falls.
Talking about what we want and what we need.
Just to be blank I only need you.
Willing to give you my undivided attention
I would walk a million miles.
Make haste over mountains and sea's.
Climb a billion ladders.
Walk through a hot desert with no shoe's.
Scorch my soul and sell it I would.
No.
I must reply.
I do not enjoy your rotting lie's.
I hope you feel this here and now.
Before long I will dissappaer into the air.
Lack of day and lack of night.
Being with you just wont be right.
I am dirt and you are water.
If we mixed we would have trouble.
For the problem with mud is it dont come off easy.
Like grase from a car engine.
Copyright ©
Mortis-Dark
... [
2004-05-20 20:20:09]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Mud
(User Rating: 1 )
by arden on
Friday, 21st May 2004 @ 09:46:04 PM AEST
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a Message)
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this started off very sweet and loving then ended very sad.
this was a great write.
i loved how its written.
perfectly done.
keep it up.
Arden |
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Re: Mud
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Saturday, 22nd May 2004 @ 10:51:51 AM AEST
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the whole poem is interesing with the comparisons and ending, your second, third and fourth stanzas are absolutely beautiful and breathtakingly so, hugs n' love nessa
@->>->:- |
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Re: Mud
(User Rating: 1 )
by alecfernadez on
Saturday, 22nd May 2004 @ 11:14:21 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| this is really good, I liked the way you envelope the reader in optimism in the begining, and slowly choke them with tragic pessamism. Brilliant! |
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