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Array ( [sid] => 48289 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => death [time] => 2004-05-19 19:35:27 [hometext] => pleaze read and comment. any comments will b accepted. [bodytext] => when people think of him
they get scared
someone they can't see
until it's to late.
you can't stop him from comming
only await his presence.
in comness or in fear
his black figure will soon appear.

his long black sigh
to match his hood
his bone white hands
in cold and silence he stands.
awaiting the death
of the one he haunts
breating down your neck
untill u give in.
you cry out for help
but it's too late.
your dead! [comments] => 3 [counter] => 183 [topic] => 13 [informant] => shorty_52 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 1 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )

death

Contributed by shorty_52 on Wednesday, 19th May 2004 @ 07:35:27 PM in AEST
Topic: DarkPoetry

when people think of him
they get scared
someone they can't see
until it's to late.
you can't stop him from comming
only await his presence.
in comness or in fear
his black figure will soon appear.

his long black sigh
to match his hood
his bone white hands
in cold and silence he stands.
awaiting the death
of the one he haunts
breating down your neck
untill u give in.
you cry out for help
but it's too late.
your dead!

Copyright © shorty_52 ... [ 2004-05-19 19:35:27]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: death (User Rating: 1 )
by barddta on Wednesday, 19th May 2004 @ 08:07:37 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

long black sigh? I'm not sure that make a lot of sense...
"your dead" = you're dead

It's got some potential, but in need more imagery rather than abstraction

Re: death (User Rating: 1 )
by Vermillion on Friday, 4th June 2004 @ 06:29:40 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

i disagree with the above comment i think it was an excellent poem. i love reading about the grim reaper. and i agree that you have alotta potential.
~vermillion~

Re: death (User Rating: 1 )
by deadbloodyrose on Friday, 25th June 2004 @ 05:08:34 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

i agree with the second comment.. i think it was a really good poem with great detail and very nicely written.. AMI JO

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