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Array
(
[sid] => 46948
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Hopeful Recollection
[time] => 2004-05-10 17:29:25
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => I wonder what its like to fall in love with the woman, The one I fell into a trance with so long ago, The one who won me over with her precious smile, The one that’s a pleasant surprise when I’m down, Slumping in my depressed sorrow, As I wonder if this love is still real starting tomorrow, I wonder what happened to all those happy memories, The ones that I used to live out on a daily basis, Like the one in the autumn setting getting married, Exchanging our every undying devotion to one another, Or maybe that was just confabulation, What happened to the one who made me quiver when I hear her voice, The one that sounded as if the birds were singing, You know the one where you get engulfed in the enchantment, Wrapped up in our happiness for just that moment, Or some kind of majestic extra sensory perception gone awry, But what I’ve found out through my own psychoanalysis, Is that you’ve got me under some kind of paralysis, That lives off of my deepest regrets from our relationship, Eating away at my depressed conscious, Trying to talk it’s way out of it, By trying to make me real proud that you’re gone, Even though all four of us know the truth, You know that I’ll cry my tears on this paper that you’re reading, Because you know that is the only way I know how to bleed, That way nobody can degrade me for being human, And I can express myself best this way, For these words are all I have, But knowing these things doesn’t tell me what I want to know, For it still leaves me wondering why constantly, Why you left me alone for no good reason, Telling me that he can treat you better, But from what I hear he treats you even worse, Beating you down like a man, But yet you seem to like that part time thug image, Making me the guy who got the exception to the rule, But that’s ok because you aren’t who I thought you were, Playing these little childish games because your girl said so, But she ain’t nothing but a lonely liar, Who wants to set my world on fire, But these things should tell you what she’s up to, Because haters are always labeling themselves as friends, But you wind up hurting in the end, Then again now that I think about it, I don’t need your ass anyways, Because you’re selfish and I don’t like drama, For I’m a grown ass man who needs something real, Not something that we give birth to, Then turn around and kill, What happened to that honesty, What happened to that trust that we used to share, Did it just fade away like a memory, Or is it my destiny to only be a observer of something that was, And live this life full of despair that is killing me, Wishing that once was is what is, But for now I must float on with the rest of my life, Hoping to end this dream, But until that moment comes, I’ll sit back and wish for clarity, About whether you truly loved me, Wondering if our happily ever after, Became like a home run that got lost in the rafters, Going through the motions only to find out that we have to do it again, Especially since this pleases the crowd that came to see us play, I can see my hopes waking up to a happy misery, One that doesn’t understand what it’s like to be true, For it only knows of the lies you’ve told, And now my hearts is skewed, Smeared all across the floor for all the world to see, As I truly begin to love endlessly, Holding on to what once was, As I pass on to what is, Life without you, [comments] => 0 [counter] => 174 [topic] => 22 [informant] => Romantism202 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => LostLove )
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