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Array
(
[sid] => 46840
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => COOKY'S LAMENT
[time] => 2004-05-09 21:53:20
[hometext] => The chuck wagon cook goes by the nickname of The Bait Layer in Aust.
[bodytext] => The Bait Layer's Lament AKA COOKY's LAMENT The fire is gettin’ hotter as the smoke blows in me eyes When the crew comes and eats me food they have to swat the flies Glowin’ ashes burn too cold and the stew never seems to cook For brekky they ate last night’s roo and all got really crook. They call me the Bait Layer it’s a wicked and cruel ol’ name Without thanks I cook their food through wind and sleet and rain I must arise and get things started before the hint of many dawns And potter around the campfire dodging last night’s technicolour yawns. The buggers blame it on me food forgettin’ about their many rums Me only joy is the Laxettes added give them the quickstep runs I get me own back by making camp a long way from the trees It’s amazin’ the pace they reach with their pants down round their knees. You’ll notice by me way of talkin’ I don’t mince too many things And I’d dearly love to knock off when the dinner bell she rings But no I have to do the washin’ up after serving food up to them fiends Then I go and eat some good tucker, oh I’m glad for me tinned baked beans. Sometimes it’s said me cookin’s beaut that makes me happy for the toil Then the next day they are gaggin’ and asking me for castor oil And when they cry the meats too tough or the gravy’s way too thin I say “Don’t whinge to me mate just go hungry and chuck it in that tin." I love me cookin’, and when at, it I’m a man of little care And when me nose is runnin’ and the handkerchiefs are rare Think of the place where all food goes and folks this isn’t funny It all goes down the same cake hole and out in the nearest dunny! So when next you meet a bait layer no matter how his food ends up Just smile and thank him by pretendin’ to eat it then feed it to ya’ pup Then after washin’ your plate for him and cleanin’ up your cutlery set Jump in ya’ car mate hurry up get the pup to the nearest vet! [comments] => 6 [counter] => 219 [topic] => 31 [informant] => twinkletoes [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 24 [ratings] => 5 [editpoem] => 0 [associated] => [topicname] => StoryPoetry )
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