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Array ( [sid] => 46840 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => COOKY'S LAMENT [time] => 2004-05-09 21:53:20 [hometext] => The chuck wagon cook goes by the nickname of The Bait Layer in Aust. [bodytext] =>
The Bait Layer's Lament AKA COOKY's LAMENT


The fire is gettin’ hotter as the smoke blows in me eyes
When the crew comes and eats me food they have to swat the flies
Glowin’ ashes burn too cold and the stew never seems to cook
For brekky they ate last night’s roo and all got really crook.

They call me the Bait Layer it’s a wicked and cruel ol’ name
Without thanks I cook their food through wind and sleet and rain
I must arise and get things started before the hint of many dawns
And potter around the campfire dodging last night’s technicolour yawns.

The buggers blame it on me food forgettin’ about their many rums
Me only joy is the Laxettes added give them the quickstep runs
I get me own back by making camp a long way from the trees
It’s amazin’ the pace they reach with their pants down round their knees.

You’ll notice by me way of talkin’ I don’t mince too many things
And I’d dearly love to knock off when the dinner bell she rings
But no I have to do the washin’ up after serving food up to them fiends
Then I go and eat some good tucker, oh I’m glad for me tinned baked beans.

Sometimes it’s said me cookin’s beaut that makes me happy for the toil
Then the next day they are gaggin’ and asking me for castor oil
And when they cry the meats too tough or the gravy’s way too thin
I say “Don’t whinge to me mate just go hungry and chuck it in that tin."

I love me cookin’, and when at, it I’m a man of little care
And when me nose is runnin’ and the handkerchiefs are rare
Think of the place where all food goes and folks this isn’t funny
It all goes down the same cake hole and out in the nearest dunny!

So when next you meet a bait layer no matter how his food ends up
Just smile and thank him by pretendin’ to eat it then feed it to ya’ pup
Then after washin’ your plate for him and cleanin’ up your cutlery set
Jump in ya’ car mate hurry up get the pup to the nearest vet!

[comments] => 6 [counter] => 219 [topic] => 31 [informant] => twinkletoes [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 24 [ratings] => 5 [editpoem] => 0 [associated] => [topicname] => StoryPoetry )
COOKY'S LAMENT

Contributed by twinkletoes on Sunday, 9th May 2004 @ 09:53:20 PM in AEST
Topic: StoryPoetry




The Bait Layer's Lament AKA COOKY's LAMENT


The fire is gettin’ hotter as the smoke blows in me eyes
When the crew comes and eats me food they have to swat the flies
Glowin’ ashes burn too cold and the stew never seems to cook
For brekky they ate last night’s roo and all got really crook.

They call me the Bait Layer it’s a wicked and cruel ol’ name
Without thanks I cook their food through wind and sleet and rain
I must arise and get things started before the hint of many dawns
And potter around the campfire dodging last night’s technicolour yawns.

The buggers blame it on me food forgettin’ about their many rums
Me only joy is the Laxettes added give them the quickstep runs
I get me own back by making camp a long way from the trees
It’s amazin’ the pace they reach with their pants down round their knees.

You’ll notice by me way of talkin’ I don’t mince too many things
And I’d dearly love to knock off when the dinner bell she rings
But no I have to do the washin’ up after serving food up to them fiends
Then I go and eat some good tucker, oh I’m glad for me tinned baked beans.

Sometimes it’s said me cookin’s beaut that makes me happy for the toil
Then the next day they are gaggin’ and asking me for castor oil
And when they cry the meats too tough or the gravy’s way too thin
I say “Don’t whinge to me mate just go hungry and chuck it in that tin."

I love me cookin’, and when at, it I’m a man of little care
And when me nose is runnin’ and the handkerchiefs are rare
Think of the place where all food goes and folks this isn’t funny
It all goes down the same cake hole and out in the nearest dunny!

So when next you meet a bait layer no matter how his food ends up
Just smile and thank him by pretendin’ to eat it then feed it to ya’ pup
Then after washin’ your plate for him and cleanin’ up your cutlery set
Jump in ya’ car mate hurry up get the pup to the nearest vet!





Copyright © twinkletoes ... [ 2004-05-09 21:53:20]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: COOKY'S LAMENT (User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on Sunday, 9th May 2004 @ 10:20:18 PM AEST
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ahh twinkles, of all your poetry i love these best, with your accent and character full to the brim, this one had me smilin' and laughin' all the way through, but aye, the poor pupp, boo hoo lol, hugs n' love nessa

@->>->-


Re: COOKY'S LAMENT (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Sunday, 9th May 2004 @ 11:04:52 PM AEST
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I do believe if that was the case I would be keeping that man happy! This is so wonderful. Kind of reminds me of my uncles cooking on the ranch to feed the hands. Now I know why they would never let me eat with them, lololol.

Rita


Re: COOKY'S LAMENT (User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on Monday, 10th May 2004 @ 12:53:02 AM AEST
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Wow..you made laugh..aah..hearty thanks for sharing this nice poem..grins* venkat


Re: COOKY'S LAMENT (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Monday, 10th May 2004 @ 01:51:48 AM AEST
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Another great ozzie write me ol' mate, i've never heard that expression the bait layer before hilarious! rflmfao!!

wildejohnny.


Re: COOKY'S LAMENT (User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on Monday, 10th May 2004 @ 03:55:44 AM AEST
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Great poem.


Re: COOKY'S LAMENT (User Rating: 1 )
by PumpkinPie on Tuesday, 11th May 2004 @ 07:12:45 PM AEST
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I don't know how you write such imaginative great poetry, but you sure write it to it's finest!I love your poetry,and am looking to reading more.Great laughs on this one,
:o)
PumpkinPie




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