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Array
(
[sid] => 46760
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => This Is The Real World!!
[time] => 2004-05-09 07:30:06
[hometext] => Here's the truth and why i behave like this and what i feel inside! it's a bit long but please read this.
[bodytext] => I’m trying to acknowledge. What’s going on today. Why I’m I stuck on a life. That’s always playing games, With my brain? I’m trying to fight back. Gain more self-respect. Why am I stuck here? I can’t leave this mess! Why are you talking? You’re booming inside my head. I’m listening to the echoes. They’ve not quite left my head… I’m woke up this morning, tired. I don’t know what’s wrong with me! Half awake, I tested a razor. I thought it was blunt, but I was quick to bleed. I’ll keep that as my reminder. About how mucked my head can go. I wasn’t trying to harm again. I’m not feeling quite that low! But I’m feeling pretty stressed out! I don’t know what to do, now. I’m trying to keep my head down. Trying to heal… somehow. I want to wake up!! And never re-live the dream. But it’s a little hard, as this is reality! Nothing is what it seems. Some of my friends are here, But they don’t understand me! My family says they care. But they are breaking me!! With all their words. They’re standing tall. But I’m getting crushed. When the echoes fall… Mum don’t stand up for me much! Leaves me to fight with my life. Then says what I do is wrong! But there’s nothing to keep me up right… I wish that she could understand me more. And be a proper mum to me. She acts so kind and caring. And I love her, but she makes me scream!!! How can I live with things, Always bubbling inside my head? Turn round and say I’m sorry, And act all perfect instead? This is the real world!! Nothing works out OK. Problems and accruing all the time. How can I smile when I’m in pain? I’ve covered it up all this time! You never realized how broken, I was inside! Well now I’ve woken, And I’m not alright! Don’t tell me to behave! I’m being squeezed so tight!! [comments] => 3 [counter] => 150 [topic] => 21 [informant] => deathdrop [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Lifepoems )
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