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Array
(
[sid] => 46584
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Can't Be The Hero
[time] => 2004-05-07 20:34:21
[hometext] => A friend confided in me about her depression, and I was under the impression she was doing well. Then I fell upon her LiveJournal and learned that she attempted suicide. I was furious for hiding this from me, and took my anger out on paper...
[bodytext] => I clench my fists, And grit my teeth. Evil lurks at the back of my mind. In the darkness Of my feeble mentality, Happiness is hard to find. So aggravated am I, So frustrated beyond belief. Could I be more disgusted? Is there no relief? Take a look at me, And gaze in to a failure. I strive and I attempt, but to no avail. I cannot always be the hero, I can’t be the world’s crutch. I do what’s in my power, but always seem to fail. It wasn’t within my reach, This problem at hand. So how was I to help, Across waters and across land? ‘I need you, my friend!’ Is expressed across the wire. But what can I do from many miles away? I express my love, And state my concern. ‘How bout a day, just us, what do you say?’ And so we make plans, And assume all is well. Until today when I find What she was reluctant to tell… The problem that seemed petty, That seemed so minor, Was over exaggerated to the fullest extent. This friend turned to blades, When a friend couldn’t be found, And suicide was her last attempt. Her last attempt to make it better, To make it all go away. But a permanent end to a temporary problem Is foolish, I say. I can’t be the hero, The saint, I am not. So look upon this failure and shake your head. Be disgusted, As I am at my friend, Who thought the answer was just to be dead. Thank god for her lack of courage, I’m thankful she’s still alive. But I remain disgusted, That she tried to take her own life. Next time, dear friend, Try telling me in full. Talk out your morbid thoughts with me. But if a next time should be Where you want to attempt again, I will kill you, so to metaphorically speak… I can’t be the hero, And I shouldn’t have to threat. But suicide is not the answer, Solution comes not from death… Sincerely signed, Your disgusted friend [comments] => 4 [counter] => 222 [topic] => 6 [informant] => crys [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => AngryPoetry )
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