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Array ( [sid] => 46090 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Predator [time] => 2004-05-03 23:10:57 [hometext] => Hey all, I would like to give a personal thanks to the two people who reviewed my poem. So...here is [bodytext] => Predator

Beware the predator,
Of its name I can not speak.
For in it’s soul it lies
All strength, not one bit meek.

With claws of shattered dreams,
And mouth full of silent screams,
Body so sleek, it almost seems,
As if there is but one theme.

Beware the predator,
For it moves with feline grace,
But brings with it unhappiness and disgrace,

Scarring all that lives within your face.
Surrounding your heart with cold lace.
At first everything was fine,
But then your thoughts align,
As if it’s a big sign,
It was YOU who committed THIS crime.

Beware the predator,
For you cant catch,
This swift like creature.

Who is the predator?
You ask quite sad,
Are you blind?
All is done,
and all is due,

The predator is…
YOU!!
-Karen Noll [comments] => 1 [counter] => 175 [topic] => 43 [informant] => Winter_Mist2004 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 10 [ratings] => 3 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => oops )

Predator

Contributed by Winter_Mist2004 on Monday, 3rd May 2004 @ 11:10:57 PM in AEST
Topic: oops

Predator

Beware the predator,
Of its name I can not speak.
For in it’s soul it lies
All strength, not one bit meek.

With claws of shattered dreams,
And mouth full of silent screams,
Body so sleek, it almost seems,
As if there is but one theme.

Beware the predator,
For it moves with feline grace,
But brings with it unhappiness and disgrace,

Scarring all that lives within your face.
Surrounding your heart with cold lace.
At first everything was fine,
But then your thoughts align,
As if it’s a big sign,
It was YOU who committed THIS crime.

Beware the predator,
For you cant catch,
This swift like creature.

Who is the predator?
You ask quite sad,
Are you blind?
All is done,
and all is due,

The predator is…
YOU!!
-Karen Noll

Copyright © Winter_Mist2004 ... [ 2004-05-03 23:10:57]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Predator (User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on Tuesday, 4th May 2004 @ 07:18:03 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Work on your rhyming a little more, try to use different words and themes to describe your poem.

"Draw a deep breath from with in
that part of you that lies hidden
Pour your soul onto the paper
Give your poem sinew and limb"

Your poem does not deserve the low rating it has. Keep writing

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