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Array
(
[sid] => 44894
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Warped by the toxicity
[time] => 2004-04-26 10:30:54
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => I’m just so tired of living this The lie encompassing each and every day If it’s all the same Then tell me the meaning of this insanity I can’t shake these dreams Haunting every part of me And I cannot see the dawn Only memories of white ceramic Covered in coagulation I cannot help but panic And the walls are closing in I cannot release the misery within All I do is bring you down I know you can’t comprehend But now the blood drips To pool on the floor and haunt me And every breath is short and ragged A heart is heard The decibels rise and the heart, The heart which cannot be my own is racing. Beating faster and faster as the noise grows And reaches an intolerable level As blood spills from my ears But the heart must be my own For I realize that I am utterly alone And the pain from my ears disappears To be replaced with a consuming feeling A poison flows into my arms From the IV at my bedside Leather straps restraining Ankles and arms And now the convulsions begin Muscles tightening impulsively As the toxin of blue becomes me And it burns deep beneath my skin Begging for a razors kiss To free it from my wrist But now the seizures cease And I am smothered by blackness Which has consumed the room Entering from the door which Has opened on its own I cannot breathe I am kept alive only to suffer By thoughts which race through my head And the pain from my overworked brain I cannot isolate a single speeding idea I am motionless on the bed in this complete and total darkness I am alive only inside my head Trapped within dim memory History repeats itself As I relive the nightmare Each and every night And when I regain control And I force the darkness from my head And my restraints have disappeared And I am able to think clearly once again I gaze in the mirror Only to see a face distorted and wrong Warped by the toxicity So I kneel to the floor And open my box of tools I select a clean blade And lean over the forgiving porcelain of the bathtub And I slice into the flesh of my wrists Over and over again Each cut is white for a moment Until the blood mixed with poison springs forth Blue mingles with the red Relief is eminent And slowly my heart ceases to pound As the blood drips down And the poison is released It is finished. [comments] => 2 [counter] => 140 [topic] => 13 [informant] => LiquidChaos [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )
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