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Array ( [sid] => 44809 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Acid Trip [time] => 2004-04-25 19:10:34 [hometext] => This isnt actually based on an acid trip. i just thought that it was an appropriated title. you see, i'm on med's so it causes me to have hallucinations and what not. and should get what i'm trying to say in the poem [bodytext] => This is all so depressing
I cant seem to breathe
Everything's spinning
Just like it use to
I'm stumbling around
I'm shaking a little
It's all so faint
All these thoughts
Running through my head

Everything is real
Everything is fake
Hiding under unreak skin
Sickening sight
Fading in and out
Dying feeling
Everything's numb
I cant feel anything

All the colors
Blurred together [comments] => 5 [counter] => 1001 [topic] => 43 [informant] => creed [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 32 [ratings] => 11 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => oops )

Acid Trip

Contributed by creed on Sunday, 25th April 2004 @ 07:10:34 PM in AEST
Topic: oops

This is all so depressing
I cant seem to breathe
Everything's spinning
Just like it use to
I'm stumbling around
I'm shaking a little
It's all so faint
All these thoughts
Running through my head

Everything is real
Everything is fake
Hiding under unreak skin
Sickening sight
Fading in and out
Dying feeling
Everything's numb
I cant feel anything

All the colors
Blurred together

Copyright © creed ... [ 2004-04-25 19:10:34]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Acid Trip (User Rating: 1 )
by Ramuel on Sunday, 25th April 2004 @ 07:26:17 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

In this poems simplicity, I think there is little room for improvement. I think the short line lengths are good, and contribute to the pace and flow of the poem. You spelled "unreal" wrong in the 3rd line of the second stanza, I just noticed. Overall, an O.K. poem.

-Ramuel :)

Re: Acid Trip (User Rating: 1 )
by creed on Sunday, 25th April 2004 @ 07:47:22 PM AEST
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i didnt even notice that i spelled that wrong. i wasnt paying attention when i was typing. oh well. its nice to have ur opinion. it helps me improve

Re: Acid Trip (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Sunday, 25th April 2004 @ 09:02:52 PM AEST
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There is something wrong with the dosage of your medication if that is how you react to it. No med should react like that. I would be concerned if I were you. I can't believe no one else is.

Rita

Re: Acid Trip (User Rating: 1 )
by creed on Sunday, 25th April 2004 @ 09:08:03 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

theres nothing to worry about. its just that sometimes my dilantin levels will get off level. it happens very rarely but when it does it's real odd.

Re: Acid Trip (User Rating: 1 )
by TaintedOptomist on Thursday, 6th May 2004 @ 04:06:56 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

hey love...good work!
T
S
Y
O
W

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