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Array ( [sid] => 44745 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => The Left Middle Ring [time] => 2004-04-25 13:10:48 [hometext] => I wrote this poem while reading an annoying chain letter about a girl who was drunk driving (don't ask.) [bodytext] => She wore her ring,
on her left hand,
to symbolize her love.
She held the ring,
close to her heart,
and prayed,
for you.
Did you know that?
It was too big,
for her.
She wore it on her middle finger,
but it would still slide off...
DId you know that?
When they found her,
mangled and torn,
unrecognizable,
she was calling for you.
Did you know that?
Her heart was breaking,
as she was dying
she held on for dear life,
to her ring.
The one you had given to her,
the one she wore on her middle finger,
on her left hand,
her last piece of you.
Did you know that?
The last words muttered,
as her eyes rested peacefully,
against her pale skin,
were "Daddy, I have your ring."
she died that day,
and her ring had fallen to the floor...
Did you know that?
[comments] => 5 [counter] => 147 [topic] => 39 [informant] => 2ndChance [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 10 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Grief )

The Left Middle Ring

Contributed by 2ndChance on Sunday, 25th April 2004 @ 01:10:48 PM in AEST
Topic: Grief

She wore her ring,
on her left hand,
to symbolize her love.
She held the ring,
close to her heart,
and prayed,
for you.
Did you know that?
It was too big,
for her.
She wore it on her middle finger,
but it would still slide off...
DId you know that?
When they found her,
mangled and torn,
unrecognizable,
she was calling for you.
Did you know that?
Her heart was breaking,
as she was dying
she held on for dear life,
to her ring.
The one you had given to her,
the one she wore on her middle finger,
on her left hand,
her last piece of you.
Did you know that?
The last words muttered,
as her eyes rested peacefully,
against her pale skin,
were "Daddy, I have your ring."
she died that day,
and her ring had fallen to the floor...
Did you know that?

Copyright © 2ndChance ... [ 2004-04-25 13:10:48]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: The Left Middle Ring (User Rating: 1 )
by Jellybellyprincess on Sunday, 25th April 2004 @ 01:16:18 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Wow.... this is stunning.
The image at the end with the fallen ring is just too great.
One thing I might suggest would be to space out the repetition a little more.... I didn't see it as too redundant, but maybe some might.....

Just a random thought =)
I love this write though..... you did an amazing job. And I really mean that too--- even if the spark DID come from one of those annoying chain letters (BLAST THEM ALL!!!) =)

Love,
Ellen

Re: The Left Middle Ring (User Rating: 1 )
by fallensilence on Sunday, 25th April 2004 @ 01:46:28 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

this is definately one of your best poems. i had to read it twice, it was so good. i can see how you could space out the repetition a bit more but its awesome already. GREAT job. -david

Re: The Left Middle Ring (User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on Sunday, 25th April 2004 @ 06:06:26 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

An impressive poem.

Kie

Re: The Left Middle Ring (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Monday, 26th April 2004 @ 08:53:23 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

An emotive write. I enjoyed the way you drew me in, with accusatory prose.
Welcome to YPDC.

Re: The Left Middle Ring (User Rating: 1 )
by Live2Die on Monday, 29th November 2004 @ 10:15:44 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Wow....this is...amazing. The poem is so vivid...so...unexpected...wow....

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