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Array ( [sid] => 44346 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => About Rain, Earth Being Reborn And A Cat [time] => 2004-04-22 19:30:05 [hometext] => my second attemp at Haiku, I wrote them today and posted them together, I'm still looking for improvement, so if I messed up somewhere let me know [bodytext] => *******.:~:.*******

Rain And The Sound Of Tears
The Burden Is Being Washed Away Right Now
A New Day Will Soon Come

*******.:~:.*******

Give Life To Another Being
Maybe Start Growing Tall In The Same Place
The Earth Is Being Reborn

*******.:~:.*******

[about my cat]

He Can't Speak My Language
But He Is Nice In His Special Way
He Is Never Rude To Me

*******.:~:.******* [comments] => 5 [counter] => 257 [topic] => 17 [informant] => New_York_Chick [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 8 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 0 [associated] => [topicname] => Haiku )

About Rain, Earth Being Reborn And A Cat

Contributed by New_York_Chick on Thursday, 22nd April 2004 @ 07:30:05 PM in AEST
Topic: Haiku

*******.:~:.*******

Rain And The Sound Of Tears
The Burden Is Being Washed Away Right Now
A New Day Will Soon Come

*******.:~:.*******

Give Life To Another Being
Maybe Start Growing Tall In The Same Place
The Earth Is Being Reborn

*******.:~:.*******

[about my cat]

He Can't Speak My Language
But He Is Nice In His Special Way
He Is Never Rude To Me

*******.:~:.*******

Copyright © New_York_Chick ... [ 2004-04-22 19:30:05]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: About Rain, Earth Being Reborn And A Cat (User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_Kalicharan on Thursday, 22nd April 2004 @ 07:50:29 PM AEST
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Once again, you have some beautiful imagery here, but you have not used the format I sent you....
Keep trying....You'll get the 5-7-5 beat soon..
Jenni

Re: About Rain, Earth Being Reborn And A Cat (User Rating: 1 )
by Jackee_line on Thursday, 22nd April 2004 @ 08:12:28 PM AEST
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Very good, i enjoy reading haiku.
jenni's right, i should know ,I took her advice concerning haiku.

Re: About Rain, Earth Being Reborn And A Cat (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Thursday, 22nd April 2004 @ 08:49:02 PM AEST
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Hi, nice little poems. Jenni is right, you forgot to adhere to the 5-7-5 syllable format. That is what makes a haiku and true haiku are always about nature or Japan, but that can be deviated from. Never deviate from the syllable arrangement of it is not haiku.

Rainbows,
Rita

Re: About Rain, Earth Being Reborn And A Cat (User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on Thursday, 22nd April 2004 @ 09:32:26 PM AEST
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well, everyone told you how to improve, they are hard to write sometimes, keep writing though, your poetrys beautiful:) hugs n' love nessa

Re: About Rain, Earth Being Reborn And A Cat (User Rating: 1 )
by OMEGA_ on Friday, 23rd April 2004 @ 04:37:54 PM AEST
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good writing

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