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Array
(
[sid] => 4410
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => A DEEPER PAIN!
[time] => 2002-09-29 07:10:00
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => There’s coming a day when the sufferings
we humans must endure will be wiped away along with every tear, never to return. But we all bear our own crosses here on this planet, of greed, pain, disease, and the ills of a perverted age in which we live. We all suffer to differing degrees along with guilty consciences or hardness of hearts, to the point of no light anywhere in our souls. But each of us bear these pains alone, and share the same sense of helplessness, and yes even loneliness, even in a crowd. But then we must all put on airs of confidence, and self assuredness and fake smiles to get through another day of living in this crowded , yet lonely world. But there is a pain I know well, that transcends all other pain I could possibly bear on my own. It’s the hopelessness I feel to bring help or encouragement to someone I love, who needs it most, and suffers even more than I. God knows I have prayed that the pains of my beloved be transferred to my own body to bear as a sacrifice to my unending love for her , but to no avail. This is then my even deeper pain, that I must bear like a tortured prisoner. Should I rejoice that it isn’t me doing the suffering? No! But I would rejoice to bear the pain for her! So, to say I don’t suffer, even if I had no pains or deadly diseases of my own, is a cruel injustice to my emotional state of mind. I do suffer, intensely! Why? Because it separates us every minute of the day from what could be! “What might have been” are four of the cruelest words I know. I seek, and don’t find. I hope and am rejected at every turn. I plead out to the Father above yet He hears me not? My beloved can no longer think of me or spend a sweet moment with me to make a precious memory as we once were able to do. In her voice that once so sweetly rang in my ears is only pain and harshness. In her kisses I only feel resentment that I dare attempt to touch her lips with mine, and a cold harsh stare. In her touch, well, there is none. When together, even then, I am still alone. My words of love and encouragement that still to this day I feel compelled to write down and give her as an offering from my deepest heart, sit unopened, unread and when she does read them, they put her to sleep. These are her own words. Why should I continue to bother? Because I love her with an undying love, even if she never will return any of my affections, I would still die for her. THIS IS MY DEEPER PAIN. I must endure it all alone, daily. [comments] => 2 [counter] => 276 [topic] => 13 [informant] => Robert_Edgar_Burns [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )
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