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Array ( [sid] => 44040 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => You and My Demon [time] => 2004-04-20 11:48:46 [hometext] => This is one of my first poems, it's a little rough around the edges [bodytext] => I cling to you
Hoping, Praying
that you can cure the illness that
eats away at me

Like a demon it tears me up
Beating, punching, and kicking
my insides
To the naked eye I appear fine
but the internal wounds are fatal

Why don't you help me?
My grip on your hand is slipping
The fall into the darkness
will surely end me
Still though, you stand motionless
Why don't you help me!?!

Lonliness floods over me
My last hope has failed
I let go of your hand
As I am swallowed by the darkness
I watch you fade away
You didn't help me. . .
[comments] => 3 [counter] => 145 [topic] => 48 [informant] => chappy246 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 0 [associated] => [topicname] => EmotionalPoetry )

You and My Demon

Contributed by chappy246 on Tuesday, 20th April 2004 @ 11:48:46 AM in AEST
Topic: EmotionalPoetry

I cling to you
Hoping, Praying
that you can cure the illness that
eats away at me

Like a demon it tears me up
Beating, punching, and kicking
my insides
To the naked eye I appear fine
but the internal wounds are fatal

Why don't you help me?
My grip on your hand is slipping
The fall into the darkness
will surely end me
Still though, you stand motionless
Why don't you help me!?!

Lonliness floods over me
My last hope has failed
I let go of your hand
As I am swallowed by the darkness
I watch you fade away
You didn't help me. . .

Copyright © chappy246 ... [ 2004-04-20 11:48:46]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: You and My Demon (User Rating: 1 )
by little_genna on Tuesday, 20th April 2004 @ 12:14:53 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

may seem a little rough around the edges but it is a good first poem. you have conveyed alot of emotion in this. keep them coming and welcome to YPDC.

love and hugs
XgenX

Re: You and My Demon (User Rating: 1 )
by Remy on Tuesday, 20th April 2004 @ 01:48:00 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

well this is good... don't worry about the edges, impressive for a first! ;0)
~Remy~

Re: You and My Demon (User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on Tuesday, 20th April 2004 @ 03:07:34 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

My first poem was HIDEOUS you have put me to shame. It is obvious that you are brimming with talent.

"Like a demon it tears me up
Beating, punching, and kicking
my insides
To the naked eye I appear fine
but the internal wounds are fatal"

This stanza was my favorite.

Oh and a warm welcome to YPDC!

Kie

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