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Array ( [sid] => 43891 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Maybe I'm not so tough [time] => 2004-04-19 13:03:48 [hometext] => Just scribbled this down, it's how I'm feeling now but not all the time. [bodytext] => I don’t wanna be a mummy anymore
I’m losing the will to try
Can’t control my teenage son
But I really don’t know why

I’ve given him my absolute all
And now that’s not enough
He’s starting to break me now
I guess I’m not so tough

I know deep down that I love him
If he ever got hurt I’d be there
But the lack of respect he has for me
I just wish that I didn’t care

He doesn’t have to say anything
To get my back up again
He could just walk in the room
With a smile on his face
But I still remember the pain

I am so sick of feeling this way
Asked professionals for help
Won’t be long before I start blaming him
For me being left on the shelf

I have tears in my eyes
And a lump in my throat
Thinking of the good ole days
When I was full of ambition and hope

Now I’m ashamed to say
Another year to go and he's out
If he doesn’t change his ways
And turn his life about

You probably think I’m a right witch
You just don’t understand how I feel
Nearly 4 years of trouble and emotional abuse
I’m sad and I’m tired
I’ve lost the will

If only people knew
How confused he makes my mind
Even thought about putting him in care
My family must all be blind

But what the hell do they care
Their lives are just so goddamn great
Don’t upset their ******* routine
Just ******* get on with it mate

I feel like I’m nearing the edge now
Got no-one to catch my fall
What the ****, who gives a ****
I’m talking to a brick wall!
[comments] => 4 [counter] => 183 [topic] => 32 [informant] => AliB [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 4 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => SadPoetry )
Maybe I'm not so tough

Contributed by AliB on Monday, 19th April 2004 @ 01:03:48 PM in AEST
Topic: SadPoetry



I don’t wanna be a mummy anymore
I’m losing the will to try
Can’t control my teenage son
But I really don’t know why

I’ve given him my absolute all
And now that’s not enough
He’s starting to break me now
I guess I’m not so tough

I know deep down that I love him
If he ever got hurt I’d be there
But the lack of respect he has for me
I just wish that I didn’t care

He doesn’t have to say anything
To get my back up again
He could just walk in the room
With a smile on his face
But I still remember the pain

I am so sick of feeling this way
Asked professionals for help
Won’t be long before I start blaming him
For me being left on the shelf

I have tears in my eyes
And a lump in my throat
Thinking of the good ole days
When I was full of ambition and hope

Now I’m ashamed to say
Another year to go and he's out
If he doesn’t change his ways
And turn his life about

You probably think I’m a right witch
You just don’t understand how I feel
Nearly 4 years of trouble and emotional abuse
I’m sad and I’m tired
I’ve lost the will

If only people knew
How confused he makes my mind
Even thought about putting him in care
My family must all be blind

But what the hell do they care
Their lives are just so goddamn great
Don’t upset their ******* routine
Just ******* get on with it mate

I feel like I’m nearing the edge now
Got no-one to catch my fall
What the ****, who gives a ****
I’m talking to a brick wall!




Copyright © AliB ... [ 2004-04-19 13:03:48]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Maybe I'm not so tough (User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on Monday, 19th April 2004 @ 01:18:29 PM AEST
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aww, i hope things work out for you soon. maybe you should show your son this poem? i hope things work out for you. *hugs* phil xxx


Re: Maybe I'm not so tough (User Rating: 1 )
by purplestary on Monday, 19th April 2004 @ 01:54:52 PM AEST
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i just turned 18 so i don't know that what i say will really matter at all...but my mom went through this with my older sister....no matter what she did she couldn't find the solution..and the whole family was against her and tried to blame it all on her....but if my mom was so terrible then i'd like to know how i came out the way i did....


Re: Maybe I'm not so tough (User Rating: 1 )
by n2dep2care on Monday, 19th April 2004 @ 05:13:46 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
Haunting poem, very nicely written. Please don't feel as if you are the only parent that has ever gone through this, You're not alone! Sometimes the best thing to say is nothing at all, the best thing to do is pray.


Re: Maybe I'm not so tough (User Rating: 1 )
by Dawny on Tuesday, 20th April 2004 @ 09:45:54 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
Ali you are not a bad Mum. You only have to look at Shelby to see that, you said it yourself...shes an angel.
Sometimes, with the best will in the world, things don't go how you'd like. Daniel is what 15 years old?? Its about time he started realising what he's putting you though. I think you should let him read the poem, maybe it will knock some sense into him.
And as for this line

"I feel like I’m nearing the edge now
Got no-one to catch my fall"

I am and always will be here for you. I know how hard it is, I have a Michael!!! Next time you feel like this call me silly.

Emotional, well written, excellent poem my friend

Love Dawny xxxxxxxxxxxxx






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