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Array ( [sid] => 43784 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Broken [time] => 2004-04-18 16:13:39 [hometext] => Please comment honestly. I am a beginner and hope to get some insight into my writing flaws. If you could rate it that would be great also. I have a few other postings. Thank you. God Bless! [bodytext] => What do you want from me Oh King,
I give myself fully to you.
Please help me spread my wings,
and only to you be true.
With wonder in worship I sing,
and start my life over new.
To you my broken body I bring,
do with me what you need to do. [comments] => 9 [counter] => 192 [topic] => 43 [informant] => eternallyloved [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 24 [ratings] => 6 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => oops )
Broken

Contributed by eternallyloved on Sunday, 18th April 2004 @ 04:13:39 PM in AEST
Topic: oops



What do you want from me Oh King,
I give myself fully to you.
Please help me spread my wings,
and only to you be true.
With wonder in worship I sing,
and start my life over new.
To you my broken body I bring,
do with me what you need to do.




Copyright © eternallyloved ... [ 2004-04-18 16:13:39]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Broken (User Rating: 1 )
by Jackee_line on Sunday, 18th April 2004 @ 04:52:59 PM AEST
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Well done , you have a nice style


Re: Broken (User Rating: 1 )
by AnGeL_M on Sunday, 18th April 2004 @ 04:56:41 PM AEST
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Another Wonderful Write....Are You Sure You're A Beginner?? Cause You Write So Well....This Is Great I Like It Alot !!!!Keep Em Coming... :-)
********LoVe**AnGeL********
*******************************


Re: Broken (User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_Kalicharan on Sunday, 18th April 2004 @ 05:36:03 PM AEST
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You write very well.... I have enjoyed all your poems so far. Looking forward to more soon..
Hugs
Jenni


Re: Broken (User Rating: 1 )
by brookiecookie02 on Sunday, 18th April 2004 @ 07:33:32 PM AEST
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i luv this poem! it really speaks to me. its nice to have another christain poem writer!! cant wait to see more of ur work!!!
-brooke


Re: Broken (User Rating: 1 )
by poetrygodslove on Sunday, 18th April 2004 @ 08:52:07 PM AEST
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Very nice. your letting KNOW that you are in his hands make you new great write.sandy


Re: Broken (User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on Monday, 19th April 2004 @ 12:48:23 PM AEST
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I thought this was quite good especially for a beginner as you say you are, but you asked for help so I will say it should be longer.

Bobo (Joel)


Re: Broken (User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on Monday, 19th April 2004 @ 01:12:54 PM AEST
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These would make good song lyrics. I keep wanting to put a ? at the end of the first line.
Stitch


Re: Broken (User Rating: 1 )
by arden on Monday, 19th April 2004 @ 03:50:24 PM AEST
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not bad. im not into god poetry so believe me when i say i like this. great work, look forward to more.
Arden


Re: Broken (User Rating: 1 )
by STRaNGe_LiNDSeY on Tuesday, 20th April 2004 @ 01:19:24 AM AEST
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Short and sweet...very nice...another one about religion though...

Lindsey




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