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Array
(
[sid] => 43350
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Heaven
[time] => 2004-04-15 10:48:21
[hometext] => This is going to take work. But take a shot at what I'm trying to portray, will you?
[bodytext] => The world hangs beneath
Now a little closer as
Angels sing his name
[comments] => 6
[counter] => 201
[topic] => 17
[informant] => EternitysLyre
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 4
[ratings] => 1
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => Haiku
)
Heaven
Contributed by
EternitysLyre
on
Thursday, 15th April 2004 @ 10:48:21 AM in AEST
Topic:
Haiku
|
The world hangs beneath
Now a little closer as
Angels sing his name
Copyright ©
EternitysLyre
... [
2004-04-15 10:48:21]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Heaven
(User Rating: 1 )
by MyLastBreath on
Thursday, 15th April 2004 @ 11:46:17 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| I've transcribed it being about death. It was portrayed well. Good write |
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Re: Heaven
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 15th April 2004 @ 04:33:08 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Heaven on earth? The second coming?
'The world hangs beneath', suggests something suspended, as in belief(s) or aspiration. 'A little closer' depicts encroachment, and this together with the title sort of made me think this.
I don't get Haiku, by the way. You'll have to show me how it works, like everything else around here . . . |
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Re: Heaven
(User Rating: 1 )
by EternitysLyre on
Friday, 16th April 2004 @ 07:03:02 AM AEST
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I thought it might've hid too much.
The world sways under
The rope a little lower
Angels mourn his name
That's the original, and it's a hanging. Suicide...I actually have another poem designed in that fashion, with which I'll write..soon.
“The will of the masses is an idiot’s cause; When the fervor dies out all that remains are the flaws.�
~The Palatine Poet |
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Re: Heaven
(User Rating: 1 )
by STRaNGe_LiNDSeY on
Saturday, 17th April 2004 @ 03:15:14 PM AEST
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Eternitys... Before I read your comment I thought it was about death but not actually dying just release... if that makes sense. Either way, that was beautiful. :) Very well written. I love haiku's but I have never been able to write one that made any sense.
Lindsey |
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Re: Heaven
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Friday, 23rd April 2004 @ 11:21:10 PM AEST
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Christ's death? That cometh to my mind, but I may be seeing things in a Christian point of view that have different meanings for non-Christians.
Andrew |
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Re: Heaven
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vitreous_Soul on
Friday, 30th April 2004 @ 05:21:48 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Actually, my first inclination was this being about passing and being remembered fondly. Suicide the means of passing...
But that aside, what we have here is not only the best haiku i've seen (maybe ever), but the most depth possible in three lines. This is so good, it should be in the dictionary under "haiku."
Truly,
-V.S. |
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