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Array
(
[sid] => 42750
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => I am/am I a Fool
[time] => 2004-04-11 13:52:44
[hometext] => Inane, insane rantings and ravings of a near-psychotic mind...
[bodytext] => As always searching for my soul NOW WHAT HAVE I FOUND?? i have found you... but... what is that? who are you? who am i? what is... us? now to make the right decision, it seems we are so very much alike... be lonely be lonely be lonely ...it hurts so much less... and what if i'm wrong about you? what if you essentially want something different? ...something not me... so now should i withdraw? withhold? hold back? save myself WHAT DOES THIS MEAN TO ME? Am i willing to be exposed and raw? To allow the possibility of more pain? (that could be avoided) This is so very undefined... should i draw within the lines or not... or just put my ******* crayons away, BREAK them, HIDE them? How long can one walk on an invisible fence? It might turn out well...you never know... So...WHAT?!? i have to completely submerge myself in this ambiguous mire to know?? What if i drown?? ...what if... what if i give up or lose hope or lose face this probably isn't worth it but again.... i never know... how long will i hedge my bets and kill my chances before they even HAVE a chance? Someday i'm gonna need to give the unattainable a try... when is that day?? i just wish i knew what was going on... so much would be easier... so much would be clear... there's so much i don't know... ...so much... I WANT TO RUN AWAY am i a fool? i am a fool i am a fool i am a fool i am a fool i should give up should i give up? [comments] => 4 [counter] => 196 [topic] => 61 [informant] => SensitiveSoAbused [notes] => ....Edited by mod_6 for language...11-04-04 [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 13 [ratings] => 3 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => selfstruggles )
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