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Array ( [sid] => 42344 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => cannot think of a title (please help) [time] => 2004-04-08 15:29:25 [hometext] => enjoy. this is one of my only recent pieces that is not about my nameless guy. [bodytext] => Alone in this world.
Yet with so many around me,
Can’t quite reach them.
As if there was a glass box around me.
All I want is to feel the warmth of a hug,
The tenderness of a single kiss.

I cannot deny I have felt these things,
Although I feel cut off from this world,
No longer to feel these blissful pleasures.
I can hear you all scream and shout with happiness,
Yet I feel out of place, as if I’m not there with you.
Yes you include me but do you really,
Notice when I’m not here?

All alone in the world, with a glass box!
A teddy bear as my only comfort!
If only I could see your smile once more,
Directed at just me, no one else.
That would be such a joy for me!
If only,
If only you,
If only you were,
If only you were here,
If only you were here with,
If only…

[comments] => 4 [counter] => 165 [topic] => 43 [informant] => little_genna [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 7 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => oops )

cannot think of a title (please help)

Contributed by little_genna on Thursday, 8th April 2004 @ 03:29:25 PM in AEST
Topic: oops

Alone in this world.
Yet with so many around me,
Can’t quite reach them.
As if there was a glass box around me.
All I want is to feel the warmth of a hug,
The tenderness of a single kiss.

I cannot deny I have felt these things,
Although I feel cut off from this world,
No longer to feel these blissful pleasures.
I can hear you all scream and shout with happiness,
Yet I feel out of place, as if I’m not there with you.
Yes you include me but do you really,
Notice when I’m not here?

All alone in the world, with a glass box!
A teddy bear as my only comfort!
If only I could see your smile once more,
Directed at just me, no one else.
That would be such a joy for me!
If only,
If only you,
If only you were,
If only you were here,
If only you were here with,
If only…

Copyright © little_genna ... [ 2004-04-08 15:29:25]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: cannot think of a title (please help) (User Rating: 1 )
by Justalady on Thursday, 8th April 2004 @ 03:39:09 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Gee, heartfelt writing. I think it's wonderful. As for a title, well..... The glass box is the key and I keep thinking, "If You Could Clearly See." Anyway, I like it and I'm sure you'll think of something very soon. Justalady

Re: cannot think of a title (please help) (User Rating: 1 )
by Jellybellyprincess on Thursday, 8th April 2004 @ 03:49:07 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

A really nice write. I think the ending is genius.
It's a very well done ending.
One thing I might suggest would be to take out the exclamation points (could make for a more abrupt reading....)
But yeah, I enjoyed reading this.
I'm at a loss for titles (GOOD titles atleast lol)
But maybe...... Among the Crowd? (I could sense there was a crowd involved) or Longing Hidden in the Crowd.... or Hidden Longing.....
Ack, those aren't too good. But, it's your call ; )
Well done write.

God bless,
Ellen

Re: cannot think of a title (please help) (User Rating: 1 )
by Rhei76 on Saturday, 10th April 2004 @ 04:27:40 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

beautifully written.
And I'm sorry we're not smarter.
as for your words I like
"With My Teddy Bear"

Re: cannot think of a title (please help) (User Rating: 1 )
by dolly_dagger on Monday, 12th April 2004 @ 06:00:29 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

titles: 'zoo', 'glass box' or 'cut' or the other ideas are cool
xxxx

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