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Array ( [sid] => 42245 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => I am cold [time] => 2004-04-07 21:33:12 [hometext] => I cant seem to find an end at this poem.. can someone help me? [bodytext] => She is walking alone in the tern,
wishing for a forever dream,
just wishing how to learn,
to dream without a scream.

She is as cold as the coldest ice,
Only crying those snowflakes.
she knows it is no paradise,
in her dreams the ice breakes.

Everything she wants to touch,
will slowly and surely be broken.
Even she loved them very much,
they still left her to get choken.

Who is she really trying to be?
everything she touches, turns into snow,
Why can not those people see,
what she really wants to show.

Now the girl is slowly dying,
the frost has said its word
there is no chance for denying
she has been taken by that sword

So you see that she was cold,
never being able to feel those feelings,
of growing up and slowly get old.
the cold keeps on with its stealings. [comments] => 8 [counter] => 217 [topic] => 13 [informant] => gothicangel [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 29 [ratings] => 6 [editpoem] => 0 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )

I am cold

Contributed by gothicangel on Wednesday, 7th April 2004 @ 09:33:12 PM in AEST
Topic: DarkPoetry

She is walking alone in the tern,
wishing for a forever dream,
just wishing how to learn,
to dream without a scream.

She is as cold as the coldest ice,
Only crying those snowflakes.
she knows it is no paradise,
in her dreams the ice breakes.

Everything she wants to touch,
will slowly and surely be broken.
Even she loved them very much,
they still left her to get choken.

Who is she really trying to be?
everything she touches, turns into snow,
Why can not those people see,
what she really wants to show.

Now the girl is slowly dying,
the frost has said its word
there is no chance for denying
she has been taken by that sword

So you see that she was cold,
never being able to feel those feelings,
of growing up and slowly get old.
the cold keeps on with its stealings.

Copyright © gothicangel ... [ 2004-04-07 21:33:12]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: I am cold (User Rating: 1 )
by Whisper on Wednesday, 7th April 2004 @ 09:42:13 PM AEST
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And as Long as she Remained Cold
Her heart and Soul had No Home
Then Slowly,
Ever so slowly.
The Sun Shone one Gloomy, lost,Cold Day

And that Warm Ray of Sun ,
Took that Chill away.

Its just a thought.
God Bless

Whisper

Re: I am cold (User Rating: 1 )
by Funkdoob on Wednesday, 7th April 2004 @ 09:44:52 PM AEST
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my advice to you for an ending, is just to start typing at the end and whatever comes, comes. then you can format what you wrote to fit your poem. cuz the ending is in your head, you just have to dig it out.

Re: I am cold (User Rating: 1 )
by corrupted_minds on Wednesday, 7th April 2004 @ 10:35:19 PM AEST
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yer i feel this, love it i got many of the same emotions

Re: I am cold (User Rating: 1 )
by Avarice_Riot on Thursday, 8th April 2004 @ 12:10:16 AM AEST
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Awesome poem, I really enjoyed reading it. If you really want a perfect and fitting ending for this I suggest that you don't rush it, just wait until you feel the words coming and write them down even if you feel they don't suit. From there you can sort of tweak them a bit until it suits you. Yeah, I'm babbling, I'll shut up now. :)

Re: I am cold (User Rating: 1 )
by katyqueen35 on Thursday, 8th April 2004 @ 01:50:19 AM AEST
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Well i like it alot.
It saids alot .

Re: I am cold (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Thursday, 8th April 2004 @ 10:16:36 AM AEST
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briliant as it is! well done.

wildejohnny.

Re: I am cold (User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on Thursday, 8th April 2004 @ 11:32:59 AM AEST
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good poem I thought it ended fine. Good imagery and everything... so tired... I am

Bobo (Joel)

Re: I am cold (User Rating: 1 )
by arden on Sunday, 18th April 2004 @ 04:35:44 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

i think this is awesome. so dark and chilling. a amazing write. well done.
Arden

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