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Array ( [sid] => 41990 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => The True Canvas [time] => 2004-04-06 09:16:50 [hometext] => Have you ever felt like you were being your true self but then looked around found that you were the only one? Sometimes one person reveals their true self and it almost forces others to do the same... [bodytext] => A mask upon the ground
My new face to the world
Discarded cover for true
This time I’ll do it right

My new face to the world
A humble patchwork of neon colors
This time I’ll do it right
No cloaking of beauty or disfigurement

A humble patchwork of neon colors
Grabbing attention of the other masks
No cloaking of beauty or disfigurement
Astonishment glowing rouge through covers

Grabbing attention of the other masks
Some ripped from faces in painful exposure
Astonishment glowing rouge through covers
Sealing the bond of those masks still worn

Some ripped from faces in painful exposure
A raw crimson canvas of dripping wounds
Sealing the bond of those masks still worn
The heat of fear sealing fate secretly

A raw crimson canvas of dripping wounds
Hues must be created from scratch
The heat of fear sealing fate secretly
Molding to the masking insecurity

Hues must be created from scratch
Unidentified variations of previous pallets
Molding to the masking insecurity
Never to freely release the inner-self

Unidentified variations of previous pallets
Solely whole completed work am I
Never to freely release he inner-self
My canvas fully painted and exposed

Solely whole completed work am I
Discarded cover for true
My canvas fully painted and exposed
A mask upon the ground [comments] => 2 [counter] => 193 [topic] => 43 [informant] => desireemiote [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => oops )
The True Canvas

Contributed by desireemiote on Tuesday, 6th April 2004 @ 09:16:50 AM in AEST
Topic: oops



A mask upon the ground
My new face to the world
Discarded cover for true
This time I’ll do it right

My new face to the world
A humble patchwork of neon colors
This time I’ll do it right
No cloaking of beauty or disfigurement

A humble patchwork of neon colors
Grabbing attention of the other masks
No cloaking of beauty or disfigurement
Astonishment glowing rouge through covers

Grabbing attention of the other masks
Some ripped from faces in painful exposure
Astonishment glowing rouge through covers
Sealing the bond of those masks still worn

Some ripped from faces in painful exposure
A raw crimson canvas of dripping wounds
Sealing the bond of those masks still worn
The heat of fear sealing fate secretly

A raw crimson canvas of dripping wounds
Hues must be created from scratch
The heat of fear sealing fate secretly
Molding to the masking insecurity

Hues must be created from scratch
Unidentified variations of previous pallets
Molding to the masking insecurity
Never to freely release the inner-self

Unidentified variations of previous pallets
Solely whole completed work am I
Never to freely release he inner-self
My canvas fully painted and exposed

Solely whole completed work am I
Discarded cover for true
My canvas fully painted and exposed
A mask upon the ground




Copyright © desireemiote ... [ 2004-04-06 09:16:50]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: The True Canvas (User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on Tuesday, 6th April 2004 @ 10:25:26 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
Some really nice stuff here. I like the mask upon the ground image and the canvas fully painted and exposed. I'd focus on the most colorful phrases and try not to say quite as much directly. Just a thought.
Stitch


Re: The True Canvas (User Rating: 1 )
by kidpoet_213 on Tuesday, 6th April 2004 @ 03:58:30 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
I love the way this is written... taking the 2nd line of every stanza to start the next... then using the last line of every stanza as the 3rd line of the next... neat concept... wonderfully written... I also like how it come full circle from the start.
~Donna~




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