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Array ( [sid] => 41552 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Flatulence [time] => 2004-04-03 00:23:42 [hometext] => I'm very private about this sort of thing, but a friend advised me to try something different. This wasn't one of his suggestions but it's definately different!! Probably more for guys. [bodytext] => I have a bit of gas
It's causing me great pain
I think that it will pass
Whoops! There it is a-gain!

I try to step away
Where no one is around
So I don't need to eek it out
With nary any sound.

Sometimes I hold it in
I lock my sphincter tight
But then I suffer terribly
With gas pains through the night

Sometimes my gas escapes me
When I sneeze or cough
I look around in mock suprise
And blame it on the dog!!

Dog jumps up and leaves the room
Muttering all the way
'That's right, blame me, have your fun
For someday you will pay!!'

So.... when I'm comfy on the couch
Dog sneaks one out and leaves the room
I never know what's hit me as...
I pass out from the fumes!!! [comments] => 5 [counter] => 169 [topic] => 7 [informant] => thumper [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 10 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => HumorPoetry )

Flatulence

Contributed by thumper on Saturday, 3rd April 2004 @ 12:23:42 AM in AEST
Topic: HumorPoetry

I have a bit of gas
It's causing me great pain
I think that it will pass
Whoops! There it is a-gain!

I try to step away
Where no one is around
So I don't need to eek it out
With nary any sound.

Sometimes I hold it in
I lock my sphincter tight
But then I suffer terribly
With gas pains through the night

Sometimes my gas escapes me
When I sneeze or cough
I look around in mock suprise
And blame it on the dog!!

Dog jumps up and leaves the room
Muttering all the way
'That's right, blame me, have your fun
For someday you will pay!!'

So.... when I'm comfy on the couch
Dog sneaks one out and leaves the room
I never know what's hit me as...
I pass out from the fumes!!!

Copyright © thumper ... [ 2004-04-03 00:23:42]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Flatulence (User Rating: 1 )
by AliB on Saturday, 3rd April 2004 @ 07:02:25 AM AEST
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Lmao, this was brilliant, made me laugh. It amazes me that most men find this funny and get quite competitive over it lol.

Ali xx

Re: Flatulence (User Rating: 0 )
by Former_Member on Tuesday, 6th April 2004 @ 08:51:54 PM AEST
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Hehehhehe I thought this was funny. Put a big grin on my face. :o) *S* Cynthia

Re: Flatulence (User Rating: 1 )
by HellsLibrarian on Monday, 21st June 2004 @ 10:54:30 PM AEST
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Rolling on the floor, thumps. This was great! *snicker* I love your sense of humor.

Y.T.

HL

Re: Flatulence (User Rating: 1 )
by Hurretje on Friday, 17th September 2004 @ 07:14:28 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Haha, great write... Recognizable for everyone, I guess (even for those who won't admit..;-)).
Hugs,
Hur

Re: Flatulence (User Rating: 1 )
by Spike on Monday, 20th September 2004 @ 06:16:40 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Thank goodness for pets, especially dogs. You can blame them for anything - household messes, homework being eaten, and farts. I don't know of one family that hasn't at some time blamed their canine for some smelly emission that wasn't the dog's fault. Yeah, but they do get you back. Ha!

Not the usual reverential, romantic poetry you find on this site, but at least it's honest.

From a fellow dog lover and farter,

Spike

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