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Array
(
[sid] => 40577
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => reality
[time] => 2004-03-28 01:20:31
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => i'm writing to you trying to say what i feel holding memories in my heart holding on to whats real december sixteen it was snowing outside but the snow couldn't freeze the tears that i cried the first day of the january a whole year has passed by i put my arms around you as you pressed your lips against mine "happy birthday" you said "i know you have Jesus in your heart" i looked in your blue eyes and thought "this is only the start" the table was empty as we prayed that day something i wish we did more often but i don't know what to say i'm living in a world in which the pain is just to great and when i'm lying in your bed you can become my escape the rose hangs dead now the rose you gave to me but the blood still flows the thorns cut deep i deserve to be on that cross dying instead of him but Jesus graciously saved me from all my horrible sin can't you see every day is a struggle and the only way to survive is in the arms of my holy father i can't deny what he did i won't look away this is the desicion i've made to live out everyday because what hope do i have if i try to live on my own i'll fall deeper and deeper i'll feel so alone you mean so much to me i have found alot more than a friend but what will i say to God when i reach the end as we inch farther and farther little by little each night we never really did anything what would happen if we turned on the light if we saw Jesus everywere i wouldn't do the things that we do i'm not ready to let go i need to tell you the truth i want to see him with you i want it more that anything for the first time please try to understand i need your hand in mine [comments] => 2 [counter] => 167 [topic] => 61 [informant] => pinkashes [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 10 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => selfstruggles )
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