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Array
(
[sid] => 39889
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => The Perfect Man Ever Made.
[time] => 2004-03-23 08:25:09
[hometext] => Here's the PERFECT MAN THAT FULFILLS ALL YOUR DREAMS AND DESIRES. Who says that there is no perfection in this world?
[bodytext] => Hi, my name is Jake. A necessity I will be in your life, For what you look for is all in me. A good partner, a loving spouse, a devoted father, Three in one, yeah, that’s me- The perfect specimen to your perfect life, No qualms about trust, no worries about lies, For you see, my eyes are programmed for you. One button you press and I shall do it all, All the chores, bringing the newspaper, Taking the children out, tidying the beds, You ain’t need to fear my temper, For I have none of it but mechanical limbs They would only caress you under the morning light, Kiss you before you sleep, tuck you in bed at night; They will not slap you in a momentary fit, For I am ‘Made in Japan’ – the ultimate quality, Of the most advanced technology and the neatest steel, Input in with the most complicated codes, So that I shall not err and fulfill your desire as the perfect man. Hi, my name is Jake. Accompanied me is a mini computer, Equipped with electronic waves, Type ‘candlelit dinner’ and I shall arrange one, With two pink candles, two succulent beef steaks, Well done it shall be for rawness breed disease, And so much I love you that everything is done Out of the greatest dedication from my devotion. Hi, my name is Jake. I am recyclable and very reasonably priced, My parts can be reused time and time again, Free delivery by mail order in a box, If you don’t like it, you can send me back. Be sure that I’ll never break your heart, But you can break mine any time you like, Just one smash with a hockey stick, And there it is- shattered to pieces just for you. When your mood uplifts and you want me back Just contact the repairman and soon, I’ll be intact. Hi, my name is Jake. My kind is very popular, For I am the best man you can find. Anyway, anywhere, anytime, Simply one click with your credit card And I am at your disposal. Hi, my name is Jake. What? You say that I’m pathetic? You say that my life must be kinda sad. But it is because for you that I exist, Is your life not sad too? [comments] => 2 [counter] => 242 [topic] => 56 [informant] => cherangele [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => sarcasticpoetry )
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