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Array ( [sid] => 39225 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => work in progress [time] => 2004-03-18 19:15:00 [hometext] => am i on the right line of thought with this vampire poem? comment please! [bodytext] => he dwells within a tomb
of coffin confined space
and by day dreams his dreams
and by night sends hearts a race

not of mortal flesh no more
immortality gave him it's glance
and now each night he needs to feed
on victims with no chance.

evil is his brother
and death is his domain
lust is for others to feast
to him there is no shame

from here i might take it to an erotic style......
[comments] => 5 [counter] => 186 [topic] => 40 [informant] => twinkletoes [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 14 [ratings] => 3 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => fantasy )

work in progress

Contributed by twinkletoes on Thursday, 18th March 2004 @ 07:15:00 PM in AEST
Topic: fantasy

he dwells within a tomb
of coffin confined space
and by day dreams his dreams
and by night sends hearts a race

not of mortal flesh no more
immortality gave him it's glance
and now each night he needs to feed
on victims with no chance.

evil is his brother
and death is his domain
lust is for others to feast
to him there is no shame

from here i might take it to an erotic style......

Copyright © twinkletoes ... [ 2004-03-18 19:15:00]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: work in progress (User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on Thursday, 18th March 2004 @ 07:37:53 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

enjoyable keep them coming
michelle

Re: work in progress (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Friday, 19th March 2004 @ 12:41:10 AM AEST
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tt: From all the Anne Rice vampire books I have read you have it 'right on'. Line two should be confined space though, and line six should be immortality. Taking it to an erotic zone, huh? That should be in interesting curve of events. I never thought of vampires as erotic. Hmmmmmmm

Rita

Re: work in progress (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Friday, 19th March 2004 @ 01:55:27 AM AEST
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very vampirish indeed, talking about the undead guess who i met the other day during a seance...

wildejohnny

Re: work in progress (User Rating: 1 )
by Rakerman1999 on Sunday, 21st March 2004 @ 06:17:40 PM AEST
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yeah..I'd say you were on the right line with this. You have a warped mind....I like that..lol I love the dark writes. ;o)

Very well done and waiting for part 2

Larry

Re: work in progress (User Rating: 1 )
by Cynthia on Thursday, 25th March 2004 @ 07:33:44 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

WOW! You like vampire poems too eh? *has chills* Great start. Keep it going. *S* Cynthia

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