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Array
(
[sid] => 38931
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => I Have To Do Something, Maybe Die...
[time] => 2004-03-16 19:17:06
[hometext] => REALLY down right now... This helped, a little.
[bodytext] => I don’t know what to do. The pain is devouring me, taking my body hostage. There’s no soul here... only sorrow. I don’t know if I want to live or die. I just want the suffering to end. I’ve swallowed all I can, I can’t take it anymore!!! For once I do not want to cut, but I do not know why... I would sleep, but I know the thoughts will haunt me in my dreams. I know much more than I should, but no one is willing to listen. Dark thoughts plague my mind. So unsure and so confused, I’ve long since stopped trying to understand... I just smile my plastic smile. It makes my own skin crawl. I find myself so stupid an annoying, that I want to kill myself. In the end, who would care? Not many. I’m screaming and crying inside, but no one hears a word. I’m surprised no one can hear the sound of my crippled heart shattering. They wouldn’t care. People hate me for everything I am, and love me for nothing. I am a nothingness, a pile of pitiful dust. And to dust I shall return... but I do not know when. I don’t know what I want, anymore. I just want to bang my head against the wall, or kill myself so I don’t have to deal, and put others, and myself, out of their misery. [comments] => 2 [counter] => 160 [topic] => 36 [informant] => WorthlesSanity666 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Suicide )
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