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Array
(
[sid] => 38574
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => love is dream - 15/03/1985-2004
[time] => 2004-03-14 10:26:20
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => i close my eyes and run my fingers slowly over my soft wet lips. smiling gently around her fingertips caressing my heart in white everything is now for you. your happiness scares me when it becomes my lonely pain. kiss my cheek resting in your touch whisper forever to me again and again my murmurs join your clear love. trust. we trust each other and through you i trust myself for the first time embrace me. i open my eyes.... you were so near -------------------------------------------------------------- at 12:00am i walked out of the study...across the darkened blue carpet floor of the lounge and to the double glass doors. i twisted the lock, opening out onto the wood slat balcony as a flood of cool natures peace enveloped me in its breeze. i closed the door behind me and walked without hesitation to my wooden bench, using it to step up onto the wooden handrail of the balcony. the mist rolled thickly over the grass extending down the valley in the darkness, illuminated only by streetlights on the very fringe of the city. standing there on the front right corner of the handrail i tried to drink in the mists gentle touch and breath the pure air kissing my skin. i closed my eyes and ran my hands over my chest...and face...wishing the touch to be from a love. for the first time. lifting the soft worn dirty white cotton shirt over my head, i wanted to feel alive. i would die so i could have felt alive....so much more so than i did. and it kills me that i cant....my feelings are hidden and my life is misery. i wanted to feel this way tonight so badly....a pure start to a new year of my life for the first time in 6 years. it is so hard. i climbed over the edge of the rail, standing on the slats before jumping the distance to the ground. running in the wet grass, lifting my loose jeans up on my hips. i rounded the corner of the wooden barn into the muted spherical glow of the white street-lights. stepping onto the grassy road shoulder. standing half naked. looking down the sloping path, an arch of glow and long lonely shadows. wanting for love to stop next to me and take me away.....giving it the opportunity to show me how i should feel...and to share that with her. i dont know her face. i wanted the perfect woman to make it how i know it can be. 19 to the day and im scared i've run dry. [comments] => 2 [counter] => 296 [topic] => 14 [informant] => lapse [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DreamsandWishes )
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