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Array
(
[sid] => 38254
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => LEGALLY BLONDE BUT ILLEGALLY VAIN
[time] => 2004-03-11 13:51:09
[hometext] => PLS READ THIS WAS MADE FOR MY ANOYING HEAD TEACHER BUT SHE'S ACTUALLY MY FAV
[bodytext] => Legally Blonde But Illegally Vain Katrina look at me I’m a mess, do I look okay? Oh gosh I look tired, philippa pass me your hair spray Oh no a life crisis situation Oh dam forgot my foundation Siobhan calm down, do us all a favour, hush Suzanne it’s not funny I need my blush Lucy do I look pretty and do my hips Are my legs okay, or do I need wax strips Suzanne did you go through my bag because there’s something I’ve lost How will I ever survive without my precious lip-gloss? Eve look at my lips, do they need to be finer? What am I saying I’m perfect, I just need lip liner Josie do I look appealing, do I look fit Does my face look okay? Or do I need a bronzing kit? Oh no I’ve forgotten something, but what did I forget? Am I really a beautiful blonde? Or a boring brunette? Miss you never seem to be wearing rags Sheryl I’m perfect, well miss apart from your bags Miss how often do you wash your hair? How many times? Sheryl that’s not important, okay miss are your wrinkle lines? Lets not go there, it you must know 3 times a day with pantene shampoo Miss I know you have something pierce, are you sure you don’t have a tattoo? Why isn’t my hair bouncy? Why is this, how? Josie pass me my phone I need an emergency hair appointment now! Miss what is that strong smell? I think it’s you I presume Your like Ms Boyle, you both wear too much perfume. Try not to put too much make-up on you’ll look like a clown And not too much perfume I can smell you two floors down!!!!! Siobhan how can you be splendour, in every single section That’s easy my secret Eve, is a botox injection Amanda do I really need the beauty healer? Don’t be silly all you need is some concealer! Siobhan I love your hair, your heels and you suit! But no matter how hard you try, you’ll never look young nor either cute Oh I feel sick, I think it’s my head All I need is a nap, and a lie in a sun bed Peach, rosy red, natural, which lip stick Oh my gosh a dilemma which one do I pick? Siobhan I need beauty? Where do I seek? Katrina, I had plastic surgery, just last week! I always carry this, it never goes away It’s my best friend, deodorant spray! Eve I’m having trouble, which one do I use? How do I keep my hair in place? It never works with moose A part of making yourself stunning it never fails Making your hands look elegant long fake nails! Miss sometimes, I think you’re in a world of insanity! But I just have to get use to MRS Gilling queen of vanity!!!!!!!!!! By [comments] => 3 [counter] => 415 [topic] => 7 [informant] => vanity [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => HumorPoetry )
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