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Array
(
[sid] => 38129
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Dear Father
[time] => 2004-03-10 18:22:07
[hometext] => Here is another letter that i just wrote this morning
[bodytext] => Dear Father, Why do I have to feel this way what did I do to deserve everything that you have done to me. I just wish that you could please just tell me what I did. I know that I have been a very bad person lately I have been really mean to everybody around me and I hate it so much because everyone that used to be my friend is no longer my friend. Father why, I never choose to be the way that I am it feels like the devil is trying really hard to take over my soul again and I wish that it would just stop so that I wouldn't have to be the way that I am. But I know that it will never stop. Why can't I just be normal for one day. I know that you can see what I do and I know that some of it is really bad but I try so damn hard to be perfect in your eyes but I can't do it. I can't be who people want me to be I can't be the person that I used to be. I have wrote to you so many times and all you do is ignore me cause I would have known if you where listening to what I say. Everybody around me makes me feel like I don't belong and some of them tell me that they want me to die. Sometimes when I'm really alone I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like the world is still against me. Why do people make me feel that way what did I ever do to them to make me feel like I’m nothing but a mistake. Sometimes and you know this when I’m really alone and I don’t want to be here anymore. I think about how you did on the cross for my sins. I used to believe that I was nothing but a mistake in my family and then I found out that I was not but a mistake they tell me every single day that I was never supposed to be born and that my parents want to get rid of me. Father I really don’t know what to do anymore will you please tell me what to do. I know that if I was to just sit and wait for you to send me an answer it would never come. So I guess that this will be my last confssion for awhile. [comments] => 1 [counter] => 150 [topic] => 11 [informant] => lildrama04 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => ChristianPoetry )
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